Welcome to campus where you’ll find a completely different
society but with these common people who never miss in your class:
The wing man
This is the guy who will always sign for you all your
attendance registers, will secure a seat for you when you come late. They will
give you all the class 411 and HELB updates. They are actually the most priced
members in any class.
The unprepared
student who’s always asking you for something
This one will ask for virtually everything. “Boss, una biro
extra?” “Buda, daro next iko saa ngapi?” “Hey, lec alisema CAT iko when?” “Hii
daro ni ya 2 hours?” “Form?”
The tall student who
always sits in front of you no matter what
This type of students are those that believe that height is
relative, or they are simply mean. In extreme cases, they lack full mirrors in
their hostels. It’s an unwritten rule that tall guys should sit at the back or
crouch if you have to be at the front, period. This also applies to short chics
with ‘bumbulous’ wigs.
Disclaimer: ‘bumbulous’ is a native UoN word to mean ‘biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig’,
very.
That student who
always asks a long question a few minutes before the class ends
These are the types that want to show the rest how much they
were following the session. Or from a different angle, they simply don’t have
anything to do after class. Questions should never be asked during the last ten
minutes of the session, period.
The hot student that
you try to sit next to everyday
There’s this hot chic that you’ll always try to establish a
forum that will set off your vibe but the success rate in such approaches are
always zero, or one for the lucky ones.
The front rower
We all know them. They even prefer ditching the class if
they miss the front seats. They are the ones who used to be class monitors and
snitches in high school.
The student who never
fails to walk in late every day
I have taken a great deal of my time to observe such
characters. They are mostly the hot chics who would want to stage manage a
Grammy entrance to every class. And then we have the type that would always
come late any time they buy a new shirt, snap back or head phones. They always
think they are walking in slow motion or something.
The teacher who you
are secretly attracted to
This is very common with ladies who will always concentrate
on the messenger and not the message.
The seasonal exam
friend
This guy will always appear a week before exams and has
different entry strategies. He would secure a convenient sitting space in an
exam space and make sure all the ‘group work’ mechanisms are in place. They are
fond of eating carrots before exams.
The politician or
revolutionary student
They never miss in any class…so full of announcements and conspiracy
theories. They always try to dress expensively and create the ‘man of the
people’ aura.
The Stifler
This is the guy who always has all the
information about non class issues. They will tell you who has the next
birthday party or where the liquor is cheapest. They always claim to have ‘tapped’
all the hot chics but without proof. They are the guys that will struggle their
way into the back stage of every campus event and make sure they get a groupie
pic from any celebrity. Yeah, we know them.
The student who only
befriend you so they could skive every class and copy your notes
These will always borrow your notes
and photocopy them (in compressed state). Extreme cases of such students might
even follow you to the exam room and photocopy your everything.
All
in all, all these students are united by the comradeship spirit perpetuated in
the campus philosophy “Degree ni Harambee”
Form?
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