LOGICALLY, TODAY SHOULD BE 2014...NOT 2013

It’s a new year! Who doesn’t know that? Hehe, maybe the staunch Geo-mathematicians (does this word really exist?) are the only guys who still object that a new year has come! They assume that a full year has 365 ¼ days thus the creation of a virtual day dubbed ‘Feb 29^th’ That is to mean that a virtual year has been created over the last 1460 years!!! And this ‘virtual’ year is totally unaccounted for…please check your calendars for proof…1460yrs ago takes us back to the year 553 but with the ¼ taken into consideration, we will have 1461yrs between the year 553 and 2013(this is mathematically wrong)! Somebody tell me where they hid that ONE YEAR!!! Ama they thought we won’t follow up coz we never leave beyond 100years? Talking of dates, I tried to set the date of some Galaxy SIII to 12^th Dec 2002 but the system told me ‘INVALID INPUT’…the reason behind it is simple!!! The folks are just too proud to be ol skool; ts more like calling a Form IV student a mono!!! On my Know’kia 3310, the date settings even allow you to set your phone up to 16 AD!!! [No offence]…Today is all about numbers: Ever asked yourself why Galaxy SIII was not named ‘Galaxy S3’??? Hehe, Samsung feared that, as usual, Apple would run to court claiming that Samsung is copying their style of naming phones!!! Samsung ‘See He Awe”[CEO, fool!] said that this year he’s launching Galaxy SIV and SV so that he becomes equal with iPhone5!!!

Kenya is really catching up to the international trend…Am not really sure if all our politicians are thieves but for one reason, our PM stole the show when he brought the first Hammer to Kenya! And now it’s our Prezzo (the president of a virtual country) who has brought the first Lamborghini to Kenya! Perhaps the delay in the construction of Thika Rd gave him more time to save for such a cool (cool azin classy, not cold)!!! Lemme hope more Kenyans will follow suit, just like they pulled out the Hammer swag! At least Prezzo can now pimp his vocabulary by calling ‘OilLibya Petrol Station’ something more Lamborghini-ish like ‘OilLibya Gas Station’…and maybe call ‘cooking gas’ butane just to avoid confusion!

This is my New Year message to the chics: Never date a Medicine (the short form of MbChb) student, the guy will be too busy to take you for a ‘treat’…

ON A SERIOUS NOTE: Last year, a poet friend of mine (Nuru Bahati) wrote this New Year Poem for us(me on you):

NURU BAHATI’S NEW YEAR’S PIECE

A prayer to the drunkard who carried a condom

A prayer to the sister who took the small brother to a hospital

A prayer to the neighbor who stopped the domestic violence

A prayer to the police who stopped the speeding vehicle

A prayer to the mum who helped the homeless with food

A prayer for the elders who asked for the family reunion before they passed on

Happy new year

And this is a Prequel of his poem that I wrote:

MY NEW YEAR’S PIECE- A PREQUEL TO NURU BAHATI’S

It all happened…

We all have dreams

The drunkard’s dream made him wake up poor

The sister’s dream made the small brother sleep forever

The neighbor’s dream made his wife kill him in his sleep

The policeman’s dream was disrupted by the sirens to the accident scene

The mum’s dream made the homeless resolve to robbery

The elder’s dream made the families and the young one realize one thing-

It was time to wake up and stop dreaming

To wake up and pray

t’will never happen

 HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS…EXPECT MORE PEACE N PIECES FROM ME…you can also follow me on Twitter @Slitherbee