CHARACTERISTIXX OF A COCK BLOCKER

I congratulate our 7s team for their good prowess. As for Harambee Stars,sijui. Maybe they should be playing at night so that the stars will help em win…By tha, why do the players complain about low payments yet it”s Harambee Stars…watu wafanye harambee players walipwe alafu wacheze usiku ndo washinde!!! Oh my,am such an idiot. Talking of names, have you ever wondered why Thika Rd. iz thicker than other roads?  Whenever your doin an exam,make sure you sit next to the `source` or the Law Of Copy Pasting will screw you up. The source will write ‘’James killed “the chicken”…the 2^nd jamaa will paraphrase it to ‘The chicken was killed by James’’ and you would paraphrase it to “James killed the chicken’’…Campus parties rock, there’s no doubt about that! There are only two people that should be locked up during parties; cock blockers and caretakers! Here are some characteristics of cock blockers: They are always ugly: the law of natural selection does not favour them hence they try to bring others to their side for consolation. They always have kids chini ya maji: they think having kids makes them behave like mothers. They are those CU chics in their first phase of backsliding: we all know what our high school CU captains turned into on coming to campos. They are always on ‘that time of the month’: these are the cruel ones who will always blame u for hosting the bash at the wrongest time. They are always sober: its maybe coz they don’t pertake what salty water was turned into or they are just hard cores who would need a maurats glass to warm em up!!! Still on the night life, usiende rave na ipad ati kufloss,kwani kuna wi-fi kwa club!!! Hehe, I went raving with Frank aka Ule Msee, then the MC akaanza kusema ‘’wapi nduru wasee wa Githuuuuuuuuuuuu” n the whole crowd of revelers was so so hyped. It dawned on us that kila msee alikua amevaa Safari Boots apart from Frank’s Supra (no offence)…plus io steam machine ilikua imeongezwa kitu walahi!!! Anyway,we staggered home safely!

International Airlines have complained a lot about the avionics state of Kenya esp in Nairobi airports. They claim that waves from the radar are interfered with by our so many rogue radio stations. In short, most pilots listen to the radio stations which interrupt communication from the radar…Things started getting worse when they would hear our crazy vernacular radio stations and think it’s a cypher or something. Most pilots would turn around and land elsewhere after confusing Kageni for the radar man saying how ‘Museum hill is bumper to bumper’…Some banks should just be shut down for polluting the environment n stuff, why would one name his bank ChloroFluoroCarbon Bank? NEMA should sue Cfc Stanbic for wrong naming: that’s disrespect for NEMA employees to go n collect their salaries in Cfc Bank. Talking of salaries, some of us (especially me) are not among those in the 500k employed youth that the Govt promised. I went to visit a relative in Mathare (the estate- not hossie) and only spent ksh 147 in one week. Firstly, everything there is repackaged; kuna unga ya 5bob(ime’mixiwa na simiti ndo itoe ugali relevant), kuna credo ya as little as 2bob(u pay,then unasambaziwa, ama u go in groups of 5,then mnapewa Bamba 10 mgawane), matters worse, my pregnant cuzo(17yrs-the oldest pregnant chic in that ‘kambi’) took me to a certain tailor who would split one Pamper and re-sew em into two small pampers….she also sold Cussons Baby Powder ya kupima. I never bathed for that one week coz I was motivated by one thing; kuoga mara mingi ni kuwaste maji, si ujiulize ni kwa nini fish hukaa kwa kwa maji sana nab ado yi hunuka? Think about the water shortage before hitting the showers.

Anyway, let’s maintain peace and live happily ever after with our fellow Kenyans…You can follow me on Twitter for more updates…@SlitherBee