AL JAZIRA Vs AL SHABAB: The Ultimate Derby

Let's all preach peace to the World...If Pluto is peacefully silent,y can't  we be?

The world might be going IT but lemme caution my brothers out there: never pay dowry via Mpesa…those Safcom folks are really unpredictable- they myt chuck Mpesa services and rip you off ua unlimited punani… (Oh boy ,c u just subscribed via Mpesa)…Nairobi conductors will never cease to amaze me esp during the rainy season…There’s this day I took ZamZam (Githurai #45) na jua ilikua n the weather was kedo chilly. I paid my Ksh 30 fare n laid back to listen to the Dj Andie abigtunes(ikibamba sana wapi nduruuuuuuu….wuadaaaaaaarrrr)…After a while, the conda came back…he was giving every passenger(n pickpockets too) his money back…Hehehe thought maybe Waititu or Sore-n-Core was aboard n decided to pay for the wananchi…The conda then went to the dere,by then it had started raining…He told the dere stop and shouted “Gari ni 80…kama hauezi lipa shuka na io 30 yako ununue maembe ukule alafu upande io mbegu”…What an insult to our agricultural nation!!! I wonder why our politicians are always in disagreements yet Kenya is a country that depends mainly in Agree-Culture!!! Tafakari hayo...Was going through the UAE league table n was so astonished to find teams like Al Jazira and Al Shabab…Their derbies boasts of security from the CIA, KGB, NCIS and Interpol….Nobody knows what might be hidden inside the ball!!! N dats y the investors in UAE prefer selling bullet proof vests over vuvuzelas in such derbies!!!

Check out the following comparisons: a golfer sweats less and gets paid really well, unlike a rudge player…A manager in an office gets a good salary compared to a welder in Pangoe…Hehe, u pay n sweat less to get punani from a commercialized coital vendor unlike your girlfriend who you will have to sweat to vibe her and take her out, call her, buy her chokuz n flowers, pay her fare…blablabla!!! Disclaimer: I know most of us are saying, “Screw this blogger, a hoe will steal your money n phones”…Do you prefer one who steals your phone or your chic who steals your heart? Tafakari hayo!!! (Hope my chic ain’ readin’ this piece…but in case shez reading,” Darl, it’s not what you think, am simply talking about farming explaining the mentioning of names like chicks and hoes…”)…It used to be my childhood dream to see myself on TV till the day I got an A in Physics n launched Project See Myself on TV!!! I simply switched it off n there I was- smiling!

My advice to club owners; never open your club next to a Wines and Spirit shop or worse, next to an Ukwala Supermarket!!! This is how I lost my previous job…I was employed as a cashier in some local club. The boss was around in my first day of work n the club was so full of extremely drunk revelers!!! The bouncers had easy time taking them to that chamber and robbing them before throwing them out for the patrol guyz (I mean thugs n cops)…Come morning, I found out that I only had 15sohk in the cash box n the boss was on me “Man, the club was full n everybody was drunk!!! How comes you ain’ gat no money?” I was shown the door only to find the Wines and Spirit jamaa signing some log book…The nigga was buyin a whip! Apparently, our revelers bought cheap liquor in the Wines n Spirits before hittin the club for the chics n music!!! The registrar of Names should ban Wines and Spirits and replace them with Vodka and Spirits; whoever buys wines in those shops!!!

Let’s stay at peace with each other and vote wisely! Let's keep the connecticut and China victims in our prayers!!! Slitherbee