The club scene

Several playing cards lie on the dirty floor, they tell precisely the mood in the house. Am adorned in a black God papa, a God papa that despite its age still possesses tales to tell. The Godfather was abandoned by the legendary Mijeledi boy. Ken is the type of person who you want to carry around when you are going into the club, he is smooth with words, inspires confidence and smart dressing is what he is known for. He seems to know what he is talking about even when the subject is foreign like a chick you know but meet with the Missus. Yet, despite all these positive attributes, the most important feature about him is that he is a team player. Trust me, for all who do not fathom, team work is virtually the most important need in the club, okey okey, after money. If one of the team player breaks out of the team, count it as an away defeat, you are all doomed. The mission is lost and the war ends in a defeat. Unlike Ken, Rasta man on the other hand is not known to hold these ideals of a team player close to heart; he often attacks as a lone ranger. He reloads with unimaginable ammunitions; several kingfishers and snapps . He is renowned in attacking unsuspecting civilians. His accuracy on the sniper rifle is however not known to be too impressive. He is a fanatic of the Darwin theory and is known to attack the weakest of the prey. Instead of using these agrarian tactics it is imperative to horde in as a force. Attacking as a team increases the chances of annihilating the opponent and their consequent submission. A team possesses the ability to reload with increased efficiency and range; they can also used special bullets like Jameson and sometimes Smirnoff when the pocket is not well lined. Further, attacking as a team increases the reload speed, after all the more the pockets the more the ‘big ones’ (thousands hehehe).  

In the creation of a formidable team, there is a need to have an enforcer. This is the psyche person, he often rumbles the words like ‘eiheiheieh what’s up, what’s up, what’s the plan’. This person should be tall and should be intimidating. He should always tread with his shoulders held high, and is in many cases the identifier of potential targets. He is the equivalent of a scout in the battle field. It is not necessary for the person to have big features, however, a bigger than usual head is always an added plus. Then there is the cavalry, this is where most Kenyans belong, these are the foot soldiers, their work is to approach after the signal and they do so in stealth manner. If they move in to quickly, the opponents might get startled and rattled and words such as ‘unataka nini, nangoja mtu’ might be heard in the deafening sound of ‘twenzetu’ in the background. The foot soldiers are responsible for the transportation of the ammunition from the bar fridges to the vulnerable stomachs of the opponents. So the next time that you’re in the club, take a more tactical position.

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