THINGS YOU DO IN AN EXAM ROOM WHEN YOU HAVE NOT STUDIED

 1. You ask everyone around you if they studied, hoping they didn’t study either.

This done mostly to get a shoulder to lean on. You will always get disappointed with such approaches but mwanaume ni kuvumilia.

2. You tell people that you “like, barely studied.”

This is a pre-consolation approach to justify your inevitable failure. It is better to come up with an excuse before the exam than after.

3. When in reality, you didn’t even open the book.

We all know that you never open your books unless when you wanted the middle papers or something.

4. You test your eraser, because you’re definitely going to make mistakes.

You will be highly vulnerable to mistakes and you always carry pencils just in case

5. You calculate the lowest grade you can possibly get, and it’s actually comforting.

At this stage, you will prefer a "D" to a refer and an A for a miracle.

6. You tell people that you “don’t even care” if you pass.

This is when passing becomes a luxury.

7. You convince yourself that this test doesn’t define how smart you are.

"Hii ni exam tu, tutaifanya na itaisha"

8. You decide that getting one A and one F is just like getting two Cs, and you’re fine with that.

You apply the principle of equal distribution of resources.

9. You look through the whole test before you start, to see if you actually remember anything.

Most of us see the paper as if it is written in Chinese

10. And you realize that you don’t know any and start looking around

This is when you  start looking at your classmates and get disappointed to death.

11. You hope that your teacher won’t walk around the room.

You avoid questions like "Kijana, why are you not writting?" "Mwalimu, I have issues with my pen, can I borrow one"

12. And if the teacher stands behind you, you simply pretend to be aggressive.

You punch a couple of syntax errors in your calculator and scribble some EPL scores in your rough work booklet.

13. You make sure you don’t turn in your test too early or too late.

This is done to camouflage your decoy as a well prepared student.

14. You turn in your test and immediately text your friend in the class and ask them if the teacher even went over that in class.

All that came in the exam was actually taught on the day you missed class!!!

15. You convince yourself that it’s fine because you’ll study more for the next one.

You go sit alone and amend your resolutions and hope to follow them.

16. You don’t mention to anyone that you ever had a test.

The test becomes "Classified" information.

17. Then you go out and party with your friends because you somehow deserve it.