TIPS ON HAVING A COOLS AND SILENT HOUSE PARTY

Am currently beefing with my caretaker and some shady neighbours. They say am a noisy neighbor. This started after I hosted a brownie propelled bash after we bought Falcao and school had reopened. This meant there’s new supply of freshers. It is an unwritten law that for a bash to be successful, the chics should be invited waaay before the dudes. In fact, dudes should never be texted at all. A case in mind is of a friend of mine who stays in Nax. Then I had a bash that, by my tradition, the chics were more than the dudes. So I had to call in for more help since the more the chics in a bash, the higher the rate of cock-blocking and clustering of single chics in one corner.

Then my Nakuru jamaa sat down and did some simple Mathematics: I only have 1000 baab.

Case 1: Raving in Nakuru- he would spend 200 baab entrance to Tahiti and 100 baab as fare from his hood and back. Then he would need two beers which will cause a whooping 400baab. Then laters, he would have some munchies and decide to grab some smokies and mishikaki hapo nje. He will remain with around 200baab that would supposedly help him vibe in the club but honestly speakin, 200 baab is peanuts in any club. That’s the loo guy’s tip, ama ya bouncer hapo nje.

Case 2: Travelling to Nai: He will spend 600 baab to and fro. Then he will be guaranteed of free booze and an easy forum to vibe. Then his esteem will be boosted by the ‘new man syndrome’. Since no one will be knowing him, he can swoop in with every kind of lies and make him the obvious target for the ladies. Other revelers will be inhibited by history. History history.

Back to my care taker. I swore never to disrespect him again by coming up with a new party innovation. I invited my friends over for a party at my place. I bought enough drinks for the ladies and as usual, maboy wakam na mzinga. Then I formed a Whatsapp group and added everyone in the party, gave each of them earphones. Everyone was entitled to the music of your choice and silent communication via Whatsapp. Then if you wanted to dance, you can share your earphone with your dance mate. It sounds impossible but trust on the power of booze my friend, try it and see.