WORDS THAT HAVE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MEANINGS WHEN YOU HAVE A ROOMMATE


1. Food

What it usually means: Any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink, or that plants absorb, in order to maintain life and growth.
What it means when you have room mates: Precious and scarce goods usually hidden and marked to prevent consumption from unwanted predators and your roommates' friends that think everything is communal. Crossing this line might mean ultimate sanctions, cold treatment or revenge.

2. Dishes

What it usually means: Objects used to help cook or serve food.
What it means when you have room mates: Something that’s scarcely clean and constantly builds up in the sink. It is unwritten law that he who cooks for the rest shall not wash the dishes whatsoever not unless he is the weakest in the room. Weak in terms of strength and esteem issues.

3. Toilet Paper

What it usually means: A roll of paper used for wiping oneself clean after urination or defecation.
What it means when you have room mates: A constant struggle of seeing an empty roll at the least convenient of times. It also means any unused book in the room and the smoothest velvex tissues are only used when ladies come visiting.

4. Borrowing

What it usually means: The action of taking and using something that belongs to someone else with the intention of returning it.
What it means when you have room mates: The action of taking and using something, most likely without permission, with the intention of returning only when it’s broken or if the owner asks about it. In other instances, it means taking your room mate's stuff kisnyper and returning it when he does not know.

5. Boundaries

What it usually means: Something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line.
What it means when you have room mates: Virtually non existent because you’ve seen each other naked more times than you can count (for chics). As for the dudes, its strongest when you invite your chic over. Here, boundaries will mean complete exile.

6. Notes

What it usually means: A short informal letter or written message.
What it means when you have room mates: Written words exchanged passively on a piece of paper to express feelings towards an injustice that has transpired. It is commonly used by the weakest members of the room. It's more like a revolutionary struggle for independence. Very common in UoN hostels.

7. Pirating

What it usually means: Hijacking a ship
What it means when you have room mates: Whenever your friend eats his or her rent money and decides to come crush at your room for a while.

8. Bills

What it usually means: A printed written statement of charges owed for a service used.

What it means when you have room mates: It simply means any monthly sum that is completely divisible by the number of members in the room. It is the most common cause of fights in Kenyan campuses

9. Bathroom

What it usually means: A room containing a bathtub or a shower and usually also a sink and a toilet.
What it means when you have room mates: For the ladies, it is a room that’s constantly fought over in the morning. And for the dudes, it is a room that is rarely used and is always in a disarray.

10. Boyfriend/Girlfriend

What it usually means: A regular companion with whom one has a romantic or sexual relationship.
What it means when you have room mates: A regular companion of your roommate’s WHO EATS ALL OF YOUR FOOD AND NEVER LEAVES. But the girlfriends always leaves the house clean and some clothes washed.

11. Pets

What it usually means: A domestic or tamed animal kept for companionship or pleasure and treated with care and affection.
What it means when you have room mates: This is the weakest dude/chic in the room. The errand boy or the least shareholder in the room. This can also be the guy who sleeps on the floor or the upper decks.

12. Shower

What it usually means: An enclosure in which a person stands under a spray of water to wash.

What it means when you have room mates: This is basically a studio room or karaoke booth...Also, it is an enclosure in which your room mate is always standing under a spray of water to wash themselves for an unnecessarily long amount of time and so now you have to go another day smelling because you have somewhere to go. 

13. Trash Day

What it usually means: The day of the week the trash is picked up.
What it means when you have room mates: The weekly day trash is picked up except for yours because everyone thought someone else was going to do it.

14. Cleaning

What it usually means: To make something free of dirt, marks, or mess, especially by washing, wiping, or brushing.
What it means when you have room mates: Something that rarely happens and when it happens, the results only last an hour or less.


15. Sex

What it usually means: The act of two people engaging in intercourse.

What it means when you have room mates: Something loud and obnoxious that you can always hear coming from your room mate’s room no matter where you are.

16. Internet

What it usually means: A global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to link several billion devices worldwide.
What it means when you have room mates: Something that is ALWAYS SLOW and nearly never works.

17. Moving Day

What it usually means: The day someone moves out of a house or apartment they were living at for various reasons.
What it means when you have room mates: Either the happiest day of your life or the saddest, depending on the bond made between room mates.

18. End Month

What it usually means: The last day of the month
What it means when you have room mates: The saddest day of the month where you are united against one common enemy, the care taker.

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