10 WEIRD WHATSAPP UPDATES

Why are people using the WhatsApp update templates like they don't have keypads? Well, they piss me off if they stay for long,man...things gotta change, your life ain't that static:

1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" (Updated: 3 days ago)
He's probably dead.
 
2. Someone is "Driving" updated 5 days ago!
I guess by now he has reached Cairo by now and his fuel costs can be redeemed with a Title Deed. Or maybe the guy has a running stomach and missed the Swahili translation of it
 
3. Someone's status is "Happy" for the past 1 month.
 Such guys are probably single or they are in their first stages of a relationship... Or maybe the guy is still shooting the "Happy" clips by Pharell Williams who by now has even forgotten the lyrics of the hit song. 

4. Someone is always "Available".
 How free are you? Haven't you heard of Uwezo Fund? CDF? Political Rally? Sleeping at Uhuru Park?
 
5. From first day their status is, "Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp"
I know I know, we are all on WhatsApp but to you it's more of a bragging right, nkt! kwani hapa ni Webuye?
 
6. Someone writes "Urgent calls only".
Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service? Ama you just joined NYS!!!
 
7. Someone says, "Can't talk, WhatsApp only".
Dude then throw away your phone, you're not using the phone's Primary function.
 
8. Someone is "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks.
Either he owns the theater or sells popcorn there, just guessing
 
9. Someone's own "At school".
What the hell are we gonna do about your being in school, save us the story it's all yours not for us. and why the hell are you not telling us your grades???
 
10. Someone puts "Busy" for 2 months 
He must be very busy and probably he's a Kanjo driver who really can't chat and drive, just busy chasing people.