HER-REST-HER

Dedicated to Sumba aka Ule Msee

Jang’oz are said to be the classiest jamaaz in Kenya but hey, I doubt. The guyz boast of drinking mineral water o’er tap water, why couldn’t Marandians extinguish their dorm fires with say, Dasani?(yes, Dasani…they will drink it coz its Coca Cola property- internasonal drink yawa! Screw kina Keringet iyo ni ya Rudissa). Talkin’ of the fires, don’t you think the arsons were a project of other top national schools to get rid of competition the Niccolo Machiavelli way? Hehe, ask any Jang’o to name top ten National schools and he won’t mention Maranda…”Maranda is past national status bwanaaaaaar…we sud compete kina Harvard na Oxford” I love the wisdom in the Maranda principal when he told the media that the fire was as a result of an electric default…Hehe, the arsonist saw a leeway for a second attack n got caught but after the damage was done! Yet again the Maranda principal saved the day, # apewe makofi ya kilo!!! By tha, on a serious note, the gova should put up a fire brigade in Bondo town, not forgetting Lodwar (oil is flammable).Screw those days in primary xul when I thot the opposite of flammable was inflammable. Lucky me it never came in KCPE n KCSE, otherwise I couldn’t be here… (I mean being jobless n writing hopeless blogs trying to entertain y’all n still go home penniless! screw me!).Anyway, everybody is broke, including the one you always see in the mirror. Talking of poverty, back then, when donkey meat was illegal in Naivasha, meat was a rather once a month affair in most middle class families…Rats(not mice-mice are the small white n beautiful rats, zile za wazungu) would always eat the little stock that the families often saved for the second n third days…Most father would ironically buy meat to place as the  bait to kill/murder/assassinate the rats…This kinda defied the old English saying : “The early bird catches the worm…but  it’s always the second rat that will eat the meat” Why is it that everyone criticizes liars and at times cheating is a virtue i.e. iz it really a sin to cheat death? (Tafakari ya Babu). Before you criticize somebody, you should walk a mile on their shoes: that way when you criticize them, you will be faaaaar away from him and you will be having his shoes on.(theory adapted from a Barley Malt,water,cornstarch,CO2 and hops inspired Mind)...The legal system in Kenya has taken a rather positive turn hadi skuizi ma-MP wanashikwa (The Masaa-hii pia wanataka freedom of accommodation na security)…alafu that Duracell rabbit too should be arrested and sued for battery. Fcuk, am tired of thinkin lemme arrange these leaked photos of some CEO n his secretary for my next blogpost. Peace out. Slitherbee

#Sumba, umeamini sasa? Twasn’t phoney, LOL!