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| Kanisa |
Ask a Nyeri guy what’s the capital city of Thailand is, n
the guy will be like “um…could it be BANG-COCK?” (no pun intended).
Anyway, I remember my childhood Sundays…I guess my dad chose
the hood church coz of its proximity to our crib!!! He was justifies to do so
coz it would be more expensive to pay for his fare, my mum’s, my two step
mum’s, ‘aunty’(mboch),my big bro’s and step bro plus my uncle who had kujad to
tao to tarmac!!! Yeah, that was my family. My mum would bathe me in the big
Geisha soap or Flamingo depending on the time of the month, and then we would
have a good breko where the first
sibling on the table would always have the ‘crust’. I would then lock up my
dogs Bosco, Siba and Tusker…(those were the coolest hound name in the hoods)Then
we would all trek to Holy Spirit Catholic church where we would be given 2baab
as sadaka. That was the biggest
mistake my dad was making coz we would buy the tradition ice ‘creams’
(Ingredients: water, food color and sugar) with 1bob and pay the remaining as sadaka. I remember our Sunday school
teacher telling us that each ‘bob’ represented a brick in the mansion that
Jesus had gone to build for his children. That kinda motivated us to give ‘full offerings’. My mum, after church,
would also conduct a forensic analysis on our tongues for any traces of ‘colored’;
this was enough evidence for embezzlement of church funds. She once told some
church elders to give the Sunday school kids receipts as proof that they paid
their sadaka- hehe, crazy is but an
understatement for her!!! Anyway, that’s how I made my first shilling, at the
age of 6. That has evolved much. For instance, skuizi mi hutumia pastor sadaka
bila doh ya kutoa!!! Hehe, that reminds me of some story that happened in some
church in Koma; The pastor had called for an harambee to raise some 70k for a church project. Kanisa ikajikaza
kisabuni ikachanga only 15k to the pastor’s disappointment! And of the 15k, 5k
was given by the County Rep but was in pledge form (Welcome to Kenya). Apparently, some thugs who had posed as ‘washiriki’ pounced on the congregation
and robbed all the values! But before they fled, they counted their loot at the
pulpit…They had 200k in cash, from the church members!!! The jamaaz asked the
pastors how much he wanted for the harambee
and they gave him the 70geez and fled with the rest. “Forgive them father for they know what they are doing” said the
pastor!!! Tafakari!!!
LOL and Out
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