Why are people using the WhatsApp update templates like they don't have keypads? Well, they piss me off if they stay for long,man...things gotta change, your life ain't that static:
1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" (Updated: 3 days ago) He's probably dead. 2. Someone is "Driving" updated 5 days ago! I guess by now he has reached Cairo by now and his fuel costs can be redeemed with a Title Deed. Or maybe the guy has a running stomach and missed the Swahili translation of it
3. Someone's status is "Happy" for the past 1 month. Such guys are probably single or they are in their first stages of a relationship... Or maybe the guy is still shooting the "Happy" clips by Pharell Williams who by now has even forgotten the lyrics of the hit song.
4. Someone is always "Available". How free are you? Haven't you heard of Uwezo Fund? CDF? Political Rally? Sleeping at Uhuru Park?
5. From first day their status is, "Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp" I know I know, we are all on WhatsApp but to you it's more of a bragging right, nkt! kwani hapa ni Webuye?
6. Someone writes "Urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service? Ama you just joined NYS!!!
7. Someone says, "Can't talk, WhatsApp only". Dude then throw away your phone, you're not using the phone's Primary function.
8. Someone is "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns the theater or sells popcorn there, just guessing
9. Someone's own "At school". What the hell are we gonna do about your being in school, save us the story it's all yours not for us. and why the hell are you not telling us your grades???
10. Someone puts "Busy" for 2 months He must be very busy and probably he's a Kanjo driver who really can't chat and drive, just busy chasing people.
Rapper Khaligraph is really going places with his flawless English n Swahili rap. He has landed enviable deals plus lucrative shows as Kenyans wait to see him curtain raise (and maybe outdo) for 2 Chains and Talib Kweli in two different mega events. His hard work has indeed borne fruits after he just bought a new Subaru:
Men talk about it, brag about theirs and compare it to others. It’s
probably one of the most talked about body parts along with boobies and
vagina, but it’s also probably the most neglected when it comes to
hygienw.
Men, give your penis the care it deserves. You’ll find out that you
won’t be the only one to benefit – your beau will be grateful too. The ungrateful ones tend to seek it elsewhere. Well, here's how to clean it:
Don’t Forget Underneath
Gently wash the penis with warm water each day when you’re having a
shower or bath. If you have a foreskin, pull it back gently and wash
underneath. If you don’t wash underneath the foreskin correctly, a
cheesy-looking substance called smegma may begin to gather. Smegma is a
natural lubricant that keeps the penis moist. It’s found on the head of
the penis and under the foreskin. If smegma builds up in the foreskin,
it can start to smell, stop you easily pulling your foreskin back and
become a breeding ground for bacteria. This can cause redness and
swelling of the head of your penis, called balanitis.
If you have a foreskin, pull it back gently and wash underneath.
Don’t try to forcefully pull back the foreskin of a baby or young boy as
this could be painful and cause harm. Their foreskin might still be
attached to the head of the penis and will therefore not retract fully.
At this stage of their development, there’s no need to clean inside the
foreskin. Gently wash the penis with warm water each day when you’re
having a shower or bath.
Washing Too Much
While regular personal hygiene is important, too much washing with soap
and shower gels can cause soreness. Gently washing your penis once a day
with warm water is sufficient to maintain good hygiene. If you want to
use soap, choose a mild or non-perfumed soap to reduce the risk of skin
irritation.
It may be tempting to use talc and deodorants on your penis, but these
are best avoided because talc will get under the foreskin, where it may
cause irritation.
Circumcised men have to be just as careful about cleaning their penis.
Gently washing the penis with warm water once a day is sufficient.
Testicles and pubic area
All About The Base
Don’t forget to clean the base of the penis and the testicles where
sweat and hair can combine to produce a strong smell, just as unpleasant
as in your armpits. These areas need frequent washing to stop sweat
from accumulating, especially as they are enclosed in underwear for most
of the day. Make sure the area between the base of the testicles and
the anus is also clean and odour-free.
While you’re down there, it’s a good idea to check your testicles for
lumps once a month after a warm bath or shower. Look out for any
unusual lumps or swellings that were not there before.
Unless you have an unlimited data plan, you can probably recall a
time or two where you had to change your typical behavior to keep from
going over your monthly limit.
Good news: If you use Google’s Chrome app as a browser, this one simple trick can save you a ton of data without you having to change your habits.
On either iOS or Android, you can reduce your data usage from Chrome up to 50% by adjusting your “bandwidth management.”
Here’s what you need to do:
When you open Chrome, you’ll see a vertical line of three dots on the
right side. Click them, and then navigate to “Settings” then “Bandwidth
management” then “Reduce data usage.”
Simply turn the toggle to “On.” Chrome will automatically remove
unnecessary whitespace on pages, as well as metadata and other elements
that aren’t essential to render it. Images will be switched from JPEG or
PNG to a much smaller format. These changes will help Chrome conserve your data.
You’ll also be able to track how much bandwidth you save each month
on Chrome (and, as an added bonus, turning on this feature also helps
better protect you from malicious webpages).
Here’s how it looks:
Like everyone,
appearing smart during meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can
be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your
next nap, or bacon. When this happens, it’s good to have some fallback
tricks to fall back on. Here are my ten favorite tricks for quickly
appearing smart during meetings.
1. Draw a Venn diagram
Getting
up and drawing a Venn diagram is a great way to appear smart. It
doesn’t matter if your Venn diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the
more inaccurate the better. Even before you’ve put that marker down,
your colleagues will begin fighting about what exactly the labels should
be and how big the circles should be, etc. At this point, you can slink
back to your chair and go back to playing Candy Crush on your phone.
2. Translate percentage metrics into fractions
If
someone says “About 25% of all users click on this button,” quickly
chime in with, “So about 1 in 4,” and make a note of it. Everyone will
nod their head in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your
quick math skills.
3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back”
There
comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except
you. Opinions and data and milestones are being thrown around and you
don’t know your CTA from your OTA. This is a great point to go, “Guys,
guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their
heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray. Follow it
up with a quick, “What problem are we really trying to solve?” and, boom! You’ve bought yourself another hour of looking smart.
4. Nod continuously while pretending to take notes
Always
bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered.
Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you
hear. Nod continuously while doing so. If someone asks you if you’re
taking notes, quickly say that these are your own personal notes and
that someone else should really be keeping a record of the meeting.
Bravo compadre. You’ve saved your ass, and you’ve gotten out of doing
any extra work. Or any work at all, if you’re truly succeeding.
5. Repeat the last thing the engineer said, but very very slowly
Make
a mental note of the engineer in the room. Remember his name. He’ll be
quiet throughout most of the meeting, but when his moment comes
everything out of his mouth will spring from a place of unknowable
brilliance. After he utters these divine words, chime in with, “Let me
just repeat that,” and repeat exactly what he just said, but very, very
slowly. Now, his brilliance has been transferred to you. People will
look back on the meeting and mistakenly attribute the intelligent
statement to you.
6. Ask “Will this scale?” no matter what it is
It’s
important to find out if things will scale no matter what it is you’re
discussing. No one even really knows what that means, but it’s a good
catch-all question that generally applies and drives engineers nuts.
7. Pace around the room
Whenever
someone gets up from the table and walks around, don’t you immediately
respect them? I know I do. It takes a lot of guts but once you do it,
you immediately appear smart. Fold your arms. Walk around. Go to the
corner and lean against the wall. Take a deep, contemplative sigh. Trust
me, everyone will be shitting their pants wondering what you’re
thinking. If only they knew (bacon).
8. Ask the presenter to go back a slide
“Sorry,
could you go back a slide?” They’re the seven words no presenter wants
to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you shout this out,
it’ll immediately make you look like you’re paying closer attention
than everyone else is, because clearly they missed
the thing that you’re about to brilliantly point out. Don’t have
anything to point out? Just say something like, “I’m not sure what these
numbers mean,” and sit back. You’ve bought yourself almost an entire
meeting of appearing smart.
9. Step out for a phone call
You’re
probably afraid to step out of the room because you fear people will
think you aren’t making the meeting a priority. Interestingly, however,
if you step out of a meeting for an “important” phone call, they’ll all
realize just how busy and important you are. They’ll say, “Wow, this
meeting is important, so if he has something even more important than this, well, we better not bother him.”
10. Make fun of yourself
If
someone asks what you think, and you honestly didn’t hear a single word
anyone said for the last hour, just say, “I honestly didn’t hear a
single word anyone said for the last hour.” People love self-deprecating
humor. Say things like, “Maybe we can just use the lawyers from my
divorce,” or “God I wish I was dead.” They’ll laugh, value your honesty,
consider contacting H.R., but most importantly, think you’re the
smartest looking person in the room.
UoN is known for its vicious attacks againts those oppressing their rights as comrades. They are also among the Top 10 striking Universities in the world and thanks to their unity and comradeship. This time round, they have decided to play it cool by striking via social media against the water disconnection in their campuses. Here are some of their comments:
"The ultimatum that I gave to swa offices has come to an end. In the
next 30 minutes water should be overflowing in the halls. On my way to
main campus.katuva must weep!!!" - Irene Kendi
"ATTENTION!!
A RESIDENT OF HALL 3 TRIED HAVING SEX WITHOUT WATER THRICE. RIGHT NOW
HE IS IN A COMMA.....SEX WITHOUT WATER IS DEADLY, SONU CHAIRMAN MUST ACT
WITH SPEED!"
"Babu Owino
what is happening in female halls of residence especially hall
4???????There has been no water for one week and we are very
worried..please intervene your wisdom please........."
"No water in hall 27 (WAKULIMA HOSTELS), Upper kabete,UoN, too alarming" "Trending now #sexwithoutwater"
"One day ultimatum for SWA to supply water to comrades,failure to which
swa director and katuva to pack,when dialogue fails we use force." - Babu Owino
We live in a time of “over-sharing.” Yet, in the wake of many
celebrities and high profile business men and women getting busted for
something they’ve said on social media, we’ve comprised this simple list
of when to stay off of social media. Because, ladies and gentlemen,
despite what you’ve heard, everything digital can be reproduced (even if
it’s deleted). Take a look:
1. When You Don’t Know All The Facts
This by far crosses across racial, ethnic and age lines. There are so
many untruths on social media, that it’s baffling. One of the best
things about the internet is also one of the worst things: that anybody
can say ANYTHING at any time–even if it’s untrue. Many of these
so-called sites come up with crazy headlines just to get you to click or
start mess. Do your research. Find out the facts, then post. Not
before, not during.
2. When You’re Obsessed With Someone
If you find yourself constantly checking someone’s facebook, twitter,
AND instagram, it may be time for you to stop, take a break and get off
of social media. Evaluate why you are so interested in this person’s
life and see if it’s really healthy for you. Internet stalking is real,
but it can be cured by logging off and doing something more beneficial.
…and the number ONE time you shouldn’t post on social media is…
3. When You Have Committed A Crime
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised about how
many people very blatantly brag on social media about the illegal movies
they’ve downloaded or the clothes they’ve “borrowed” or even how
they’ve illegally entered someone’s place. If that’s you, stay off of
social media.
4. When You’re In The Middle Of A Breakup You’re in a relationship, then you’re not. Your relationship
status keeps changing like Samuel L. Jackson’s wigs in movies. People
don’t want to see that, let alone be bothered with it. If you’re in the
middle of a breakup or rough patch in your relationship, keep it to
yourself. If it’s open to the public, it gives the public the
opportunity to swoop in and make the real relationship worse.
5. When You’re Lonely
Some may not agree with this, but when you’re lonely and you post it on
social media, everyone may not feel like giving you the “warm &
fuzzy” feeling that you need at that moment. It’s those not-so-good
responses to your lonely posts that may take you deeper into depression.
6. When You Want To Tell The Whole Story, But Can’t
There’s few things in social media more annoying that when someone
creates a post that is vague yet emotional. It’s like someone tells you
something but doesn’t finish.
7. When You’re Angry or Upset
Just like when you’re in an argument with someone while heated, you may
say things that you really regret. And while in the real world you can
forgive and forget, everything digital If you follow even half of these suggestions, your time on social media will not only be more productive, it will be more fun!
The KU elections kick off today with what is seen as the highest number of presidential aspirants. One of the longest varsity beef between Vincent Oketch (a presidential aspirant) and Daddy Wandera (also an aspirant) was squashed by what is believed to be a mutual consent. The two leaders allegedly met in the prestigious KUCC to discuss an election pact which saw Daddy Wandera step down for Vincent Oketch. This is the statement released by Vincent on the matter:
"Ladies and gentlemen, as worthy comrades of KU, we all understand
that leadership is inborn and seen in a person, all of us are learned
and smart. There is freedom of meeting and Kupanga kazi. Our
meeting was valid with comrades interest at heart. In every political
move, winning is the key factor, if we divide votes in our backyard will
never win election and so we agreed to work hand in hand to deliver the
seat. If I happen to pass the nomination,
Wandera will step down for me and support my bid for KUSA President.
And if am unlucky to fail nomination, I will support his bid for the
same.
In the meeting, we
also settled our personal difference and rekindled our friendship,as
leaders, its not good to wash our dirty linen in public or divide our
people on personal grounds. We have to sit down, act as an example to
all comrades. Kindly don't term anyone a traitor or peddle any
rumour that doesn't hold water. Its KAZI tunapanga, a divided house can
never champion any success and we decided to unite, Wandera sacrificing
his presidential bid for me is for the best interest of comrades and our
people. Kind Regards."
Facebook and Twitter is always filled with messages, status updates
and memes containing words of wisdom for those who are in the dating
pool waiting to find true love. Many of these status updates come from
people who have passed through the ropes of courting and have now ended
up on the side of commitment while others
contain information from those who have become bitter because of
relationships that missed the mark of happiness.
It can be difficult sometimes for a woman who doesn’t know a thing
about the standards of dating and the “rules” that follow them to know
just exactly what to do to land the heart of a man who has caught her
attention, but world renowned celebrity relationship coach Tony Gaskins
always has a great message for women looking to land the men they
deserve.
In a recent Facebook post, Tony spoke about the most common mistake
women make when dating: praising a boyfriend. What he meant by praise is
the extra effort and support women give to the men they are simply
courting that haven’t yet promised her a lifetime of commitment.
She cooks, cleans and has sex with him on command, remains faithful
and loyal and even moves in with him. Tony made it a point to encourage
women to stop praising boyfriends and to refrain from giving everything
before a lifelong commitment has been promised. “Why would a man work
to have a woman if she is giving everything willingly with little effort
being given to earn her,” Tony rhetorically asks to get the attention
of his woman audience.
His advice to women who give too much too soon in a relationship is
to “close your legs and open your mind to get to know a man before
giving everything.” This is a solid piece of advice for any woman
looking for long term/lifetime commitment from a man. It is natural for a
woman to be giving and nurturing, but giving in abundance before a man
has said the words “I choose you for life” only places a woman in a
position to be taken advantage of.
There needs to be a cap put on the amount a woman gives to a man
before securing a future with him. After all, if one gives it all away
in the beginning there is nothing to look forward to. It’s ok to be
caring and nurturing to a boyfriend, however, it takes some reservation
in order to turn the relationship from a courtship to a marriage. Time
should be taken to sincerely get to know a person mentally and
spiritually. When a man has to work to earn the affections of a woman,
it is much more appreciated than when it is simply given out of the
feeling of having to keep a man satisfied.
For the single and still searching women out there, try Tony’s advice
and see how it works for you. Don’t give up too much too soon.
You would think that putting on perfume would be the most non-complex
part of your beauty routine, but it may be more complicated than you
think! Are you committing any of these perfume crimes? If so, here is
how to fix them:
Mistake #1: Rubbing Your Wrists Together
This may be limiting the length of time your scent lasts. There are
three notes that make up a fragrance, and these are also what holds its
scent. When you rub your wrists together, the friction and heat burn
through the top and middle note, making your perfume spritz a complete
waste of time.
Mistake #2: You Only Put It On Your Wrists
Body heat is the main activator of perfume, therefore applying it to
pulse points are your best options. Try applying it to your wrists,
neck, behind your knees, ankles and chest. Remember: pick your placement
wisely, and don’t overdo it. Try two to three places AT MOST!
Application to your clothes and hair is okay as well, but not ideal
as the fragrance won’t be projected as much without your body heat.
Mistake #3: Not Moisturizing Before Your Apply
If you’re looking to have that all night scent, moisturize before
spritzing! Moisturized skin clings to a fragrance much longer. For best
results, try applying a lotion with the same scent as your perfume, or
an unscented moisturizer.
Mistake #4: You Leave the Bottle Out On Your Vanity
As pretty as your bottle may be, fragrances last the longest in the
refrigerator. Though keeping your scents next to your fruits and veggies
may gross you out, it is the best storage option for them. The
alternative is keep them in a dark, cool environment as far away from
direct sunlight and heat. The heat from the sun will break down the
fragrance faster and can even change the way it smells!
Mistake #5: You Stole Your Friend’s Fragrance
So you just love the way it smells on her right and you don’t mind
being called a copy cat? Well just remember that the way it smells on
her is going to be different from how it smells on you. Your body’s
chemistry is unique to you and it completes the outcome of the fragrance
once it’s applied. A best practice is to try it out before you run out
and buy it!
According to the latest 2014 World Drug Report , the West African nation of Ghana has been named the world’s largest per capita population of weed smokers.
2.8 million Ghanaians out of about the 25,000,000 population likes to
light it up and get high on a daily basis. That’s a whopping 11.2% of
the populace.
Other countries with a notorious weed-smoking habits includes the usual suspects ; Jamaica, U.S., Nigeria and Netherlands, but none of them come close to Ghana.
While usage in the U.S. rose after some marijuana
legalization began in 2012, it’s still under 10%. It’s surprising, then,
that Ghana still comes out on top even though marijuana consumption is
illegal per its constitution.
Here’s a quick look at the national culture that has made Ghanaians the world’s top weed smokers:
What’s the weed scene like in Ghana?
Similar to most African countries, marijuana is actually
illegal in Ghana, but seems to be openly acceptable by the new
generation. Smoking weed in high schools and the university
is considered ‘cool’. The area boys who are known to smoke ganja are
typically regarded as the ‘cool kids on the block’, and are generally
respected by the community they reside.
Weed in Ghana is very cheap.
One-eighth of an ounce of high-quality weed can cost GHC 30
($15) — in the U.S., one-eighth costs $30 to $50. There are generally
three grades available: “Marri” is low-quality, “polli” is medium-grade
and “riger” is the top-shelf stuff.
The preferred place to smoke weed in Ghana?
The ‘BUSH’ in the local communities are notoriously known
as the ‘ganja’ spots. Most of the smoking is done outside in the bush.
It’s very, very warm in Ghana, and thankfully there are many small
hut-and-bench combos, which allow for cool breezes to flow over you
while hiding from the ever-present glaring sun.
The Narcotics Control Board (NACOB) boss is open to legalization
The Executive Secretary of the Narcotics Control Board (NACOB) can see some wisdom in the legalisation of cannabis sativa because increasingly, ordinary people do not think that possessing the mentally-disturbing substance is a crime.
Take or leave it, there is “a virtual legalisation” of marijuana
because already “mothers, sisters, girlfriends and wives are using stuff
made of Indian hemp” for their hair”, the tough-talking Yaw Akrasi
Sarpong said on Accra-based Power FM earlier this year. Why do the people of Ghana love weed more than everyone else?
It’s very unclear why, maybe the Rastafarians have finally found a
way to positively influence the public or Ghanaians simply know how to
fun better than everyone else?
