10 WEIRD WHATSAPP UPDATES

Why are people using the WhatsApp update templates like they don't have keypads? Well, they piss me off if they stay for long,man...things gotta change, your life ain't that static:

1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" (Updated: 3 days ago)
He's probably dead.
 
2. Someone is "Driving" updated 5 days ago!
I guess by now he has reached Cairo by now and his fuel costs can be redeemed with a Title Deed. Or maybe the guy has a running stomach and missed the Swahili translation of it
 
3. Someone's status is "Happy" for the past 1 month.
 Such guys are probably single or they are in their first stages of a relationship... Or maybe the guy is still shooting the "Happy" clips by Pharell Williams who by now has even forgotten the lyrics of the hit song. 

4. Someone is always "Available".
 How free are you? Haven't you heard of Uwezo Fund? CDF? Political Rally? Sleeping at Uhuru Park?
 
5. From first day their status is, "Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp"
I know I know, we are all on WhatsApp but to you it's more of a bragging right, nkt! kwani hapa ni Webuye?
 
6. Someone writes "Urgent calls only".
Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service? Ama you just joined NYS!!!
 
7. Someone says, "Can't talk, WhatsApp only".
Dude then throw away your phone, you're not using the phone's Primary function.
 
8. Someone is "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks.
Either he owns the theater or sells popcorn there, just guessing
 
9. Someone's own "At school".
What the hell are we gonna do about your being in school, save us the story it's all yours not for us. and why the hell are you not telling us your grades???
 
10. Someone puts "Busy" for 2 months 
He must be very busy and probably he's a Kanjo driver who really can't chat and drive, just busy chasing people.
 

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CHECK OUT KHALIGRAPH'S NEW RIDE

Rapper Khaligraph is really going places with his flawless English n Swahili rap. He has landed enviable deals plus lucrative shows as Kenyans wait to see him curtain raise (and maybe outdo) for 2 Chains and Talib Kweli in two different mega events. His hard work has indeed borne fruits after he just bought a new Subaru:

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HERE IS THE AFRICAN COUNTRY WITH THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF WEED SMOKERS IN THE WORLD

According to the latest 2014 World Drug Report , the West African nation of Ghana has been named the world’s largest per capita population of weed smokers. 2.8 million Ghanaians out of about the 25,000,000 population likes to light it up and get high on a daily basis. That’s a whopping 11.2% of the populace.

Other countries with a notorious weed-smoking habits includes the usual suspects ; Jamaica, U.S., Nigeria and Netherlands, but none of them come close to Ghana.

While usage in the U.S. rose after some marijuana legalization began in 2012, it’s still under 10%. It’s surprising, then, that Ghana still comes out on top even though marijuana consumption is illegal per its constitution.

Here’s a quick look at the national culture that has made Ghanaians the world’s top weed smokers:

What’s the weed scene like in Ghana?

Similar to most African countries, marijuana is actually illegal in Ghana, but seems to be openly acceptable by the new generation. Smoking weed in high schools and the university is considered ‘cool’. The area boys who are known to smoke ganja are typically regarded as the ‘cool kids on the block’, and are generally respected by the community they reside.

Weed in Ghana is very cheap.

One-eighth of an ounce of high-quality weed can cost GHC 30 ($15)  — in the U.S., one-eighth costs $30 to $50. There are generally three grades available: “Marri” is low-quality, “polli” is medium-grade and “riger” is the top-shelf stuff.

The preferred place to smoke weed in Ghana?

The ‘BUSH’ in the local communities are notoriously known as the ‘ganja’ spots. Most of the smoking is done outside in the bush. It’s very, very warm in Ghana, and thankfully there are many small hut-and-bench combos, which allow for cool breezes to flow over you while hiding from the ever-present glaring sun.

The Narcotics Control Board (NACOB) boss is open to legalization

The Executive Secretary of the Narcotics Control Board (NACOB) can see some wisdom in  the legalisation of cannabis sativa because increasingly, ordinary people do not think that possessing the mentally-disturbing substance is a crime.

Take or leave it, there is “a virtual legalisation” of marijuana because already “mothers, sisters, girlfriends and wives are using stuff made of Indian hemp” for their hair”, the tough-talking Yaw Akrasi Sarpong said on Accra-based Power FM earlier this year.
Why do the people of Ghana love weed more than everyone else?
It’s very unclear why, maybe the Rastafarians have finally found a way to positively influence the public or Ghanaians simply know how to fun better than everyone else?

Download the complete report HERE

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ALBUM REVIEW: CHRIS BROWN 'X'

Chris Brown's attempts at appealing to all corners of the urban pop spectrum at-present are commendable, but possibly a case of the vocalist doing too much.

Regardless of their more recent failures or successes, some celebrities remain inextricably linked to a past incident instead of their craft. Names such as Ike Turner and O.J. Simpson come to mind as transcendent talents who crossed the line separating fame from infamy. There are moments on his sixth studio album X that would lead you to believe Chris Brown can vie for the title of the best pop vocalist of the current lot hoping to be considered as a modern heir apparent to Michael Jackson. And while he approaches excellence on the surface, for some listeners his less-than-stellar criminal record places a glass ceiling on the overall excellence of any of his recorded material. Thus, with half of X representing some of Pop R&B’s most impressive cuts of 2014 (while, yes, the other half feeling dreadfully uninspired), Brown still faces being supremely talented yet always far less than optimally successful.

Loyal ran the summer, and aside from the Michael Jackson appropriating album lead-in single “Fine China” (available on the deluxe version), is the best-known hits on the album to-date. Like a great deal of the material on X, the NicNac production has two guest features (Tyga and Lil Wayne) and bears a strong resemblance to much of DJ Mustard’s mid-tempo club anthems that have dominated the past 12 months. It’s as if the song’s relaxed tempo invites relaxed emceeing and songwriting too, as the number of incredibly vapid and obviously misogynistic come-ons here reaches a near uncomfortable level.
Dance culture is here too. The progressive House track “Don’t Be Gone Too Long” lacks a powerful and earnest enough vocal performance to buoy the barely-there synths and the UK funky-meets-dub bass of Razihel’s “Body Shots” is reminiscent of Katy B’s work on Magnetic Man’s 2012 single “I Need Air,” meaning that the usually on point Brown is about two years off-trend regarding the ever evolving world of dance. Diplo takes the reigns for eponymous and Trap-as-EDM, 808 and synth laser-driven single “X,” which, in Brown emphatically stating that “[he] swears to god he’s moving on!” is either an amazing kiss-off to well documented on again/off again flame Rihanna, or an angry note to on again/off again mate Karreuche Tran. And that’s the thing with Brown and X. The overwhelming majority of artists would get the benefit of addressing a hypothetical ex. Aside from “Team Breezy,” which listeners will extend Brown the courtesy of painting himself the victim? Is the reference to being “put on layaway” not a shot at Rihanna splitting time between Brown and Rap superstar Drake?

X’s weakest points are where Brown absolutely does too much and is off-course in his answers to commercially popular and guitar-driven styles. “Autumn Leaves” is definitely soulful, yet in feeling entirely too lyrically bathed in Brown’s lovelorn and litigious past, can’t even be saved by the introspective lyrical talents of Kendrick Lamar. “See You Around?” Well, the less said about Chris Brown aping the style and sound of jug-band rockers Mumford and Sons, the better.
The album’s strongest suit is in traditional love-sexy rhythm and blues. These work in part because Brown enlists some of his peers to play to their strong suits. Usher co-opts his 2008 hit “Love In This Club” for “New Flame.” Brown and fellow R. Kelly disciple Trey Songz drop trite R. Kelly song titles as puns on Mel and Mus’ soulful trap ballad “Songs On 12 Play,” while “Drown In It” is an out in the open ode to cunnilingus—Kellz the master joining his student on a hyper-sexual duet with lyrics swaddled in simmering bass.
Thankfully, X also has offerings that are outstanding in their own unique ways. Female duets “Drunk Texting” and “Do Better” are likely odes to things Brown himself is likely quite well acquainted with of late. Both Jhene Aiko and Brandy respectively delivering mature performances that when melded with Brown’s sometimes juvenile real-life behavior make both listens feel like more conversations on Brown’s current life than mere Pop ditties. “Stereotype” finds Danja producing something that grabs deep into the past (Stevie Wonder-style, Moog-type synths) and blends it with the energy of big-room house handclaps and trapped out bass for a true winner. When Brown labels his ex a negative “stereotype” that he’d like to forget, it’s a message that Brown—after being heartbroken for three albums—is hopefully ready to move on to a new (and hopefully lyrically and sonically fresh) chapter of his life.
Personality aside, Chris Brown’s ability to succeed artistically at delivering sounds in all three sectors of urban Pop makes this release a great, yet disjointed listen. From commercially dominant ratchet Rap/Soul to heartfelt and yearning album cuts to EDM-styled party tracks, Brown’s attempts at appealing to all corners of the urban Pop spectrum at-present are commendable, but possibly a case of the vocalist doing too much.

Courtesy of HipHopDX

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