10 WEIRD WHATSAPP UPDATES

Why are people using the WhatsApp update templates like they don't have keypads? Well, they piss me off if they stay for long,man...things gotta change, your life ain't that static:

1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" (Updated: 3 days ago)
He's probably dead.
 
2. Someone is "Driving" updated 5 days ago!
I guess by now he has reached Cairo by now and his fuel costs can be redeemed with a Title Deed. Or maybe the guy has a running stomach and missed the Swahili translation of it
 
3. Someone's status is "Happy" for the past 1 month.
 Such guys are probably single or they are in their first stages of a relationship... Or maybe the guy is still shooting the "Happy" clips by Pharell Williams who by now has even forgotten the lyrics of the hit song. 

4. Someone is always "Available".
 How free are you? Haven't you heard of Uwezo Fund? CDF? Political Rally? Sleeping at Uhuru Park?
 
5. From first day their status is, "Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp"
I know I know, we are all on WhatsApp but to you it's more of a bragging right, nkt! kwani hapa ni Webuye?
 
6. Someone writes "Urgent calls only".
Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service? Ama you just joined NYS!!!
 
7. Someone says, "Can't talk, WhatsApp only".
Dude then throw away your phone, you're not using the phone's Primary function.
 
8. Someone is "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks.
Either he owns the theater or sells popcorn there, just guessing
 
9. Someone's own "At school".
What the hell are we gonna do about your being in school, save us the story it's all yours not for us. and why the hell are you not telling us your grades???
 
10. Someone puts "Busy" for 2 months 
He must be very busy and probably he's a Kanjo driver who really can't chat and drive, just busy chasing people.
 

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10 AMAZING PICTURES OF GEORGE THUKU : #KU-ELECTIONS-LIVE

He started from here....

then upgraded to this...

He's a respected man even in the states, his billboards are in the Times Square New York

Thuku as a humanitarian

in his humble crib

 

 

 

 

 

his backyard as he hosted some kids from a children's home

Thuku with his abroad friend

When Thuku hosted Sonko in his office to give him advice on how to run Nairobi

Thuku at a past meeting, at least he's not bored like the guy behind him

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#KU-ELECTIONSLIVE : VINCENT OKETCH KILLS BEEF WITH WANDERA

The KU elections kick off today with what is seen as the highest number of presidential aspirants. One of the longest varsity beef between Vincent Oketch (a presidential aspirant) and Daddy Wandera (also an aspirant) was squashed by what is believed to be a mutual consent. The two leaders allegedly met in the prestigious KUCC to discuss an election pact which saw Daddy Wandera step down for Vincent Oketch. This is the statement released by Vincent on the matter:

"Ladies and gentlemen, as worthy comrades of KU, we all understand that leadership is inborn and seen in a person, all of us are learned and smart. There is freedom of meeting and Kupanga kazi.
Our meeting was valid with comrades interest at heart. In every political move, winning is the key factor, if we divide votes in our backyard will never win election and so we agreed to work hand in hand to deliver the seat. If I happen to pass the nomination, Wandera will step down for me and support my bid for KUSA President. And if am unlucky to fail nomination, I will support his bid for the same.

In the meeting, we also settled our personal difference and rekindled our friendship,as leaders, its not good to wash our dirty linen in public or divide our people on personal grounds. We have to sit down, act as an example to all comrades.
Kindly don't term anyone a traitor or peddle any rumour that doesn't hold water. Its KAZI tunapanga, a divided house can never champion any success and we decided to unite, Wandera sacrificing his presidential bid for me is for the best interest of comrades and our people.
Kind Regards."

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NAIROBI'S DIGITAL THIEVES

Welcome to the digital generation where the cons are more tactic than ever... It's not about violence but soft robbery. Here are some of the witnessed scenes : Episode 1 Annabel (not her real name) was in a ma3 when a 'sickly' lady sat next to her. Moments later, she requested for Annabel's phone to call her hubby before the matatu took off. She went to an ally purportedly calling the hubby. Annabel was beginning to get jitters and thought her phone was officially stolen. Fortunately, the lady came back and handed her phone back. Later in the day she got a text from Ian requesting for a soft loan of 8k. She sent him cash via mpesa only to get a message telling her that she had sent money to one Irene Xemia (not real name) . That's when the whole event hit her. She had been duped. The lady had apparently changed contact details of ian and saved her own number. Episode 2 Enid (not her real name) operates an mpesa shop in the city centre. On this particular day, a man enters the shop an wishes to withdraw some amount. Enid patiently waits for correspondence in her mpesa phone. Immediately the motification message comes through, the man excuses herself as to take a call. On the other side, Enid is enthusiastically counting the notes before handing him the cash. The man is happy and Enid is happy to serve the elegant looking client. Drama unfolds in the evening when she is doing balancing and realizes she is 10k short. It then dawns on her what had actually happend. Fortunately, she contacts the customer care and is sorted out

By @LizAbel

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VIDEO: PARASHA TEASER

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DEAD BEAT: MOHAMMED ALI'S SECRET DAUGHTER IN GHANA

Boxing legend Mohammed Ali’s secret daughter today made a passionate plea to his family: “Let me see him one last time before he dies.” Kiiursti Mensah Ali – who looks remarkably like the ex-world heavyweight champ – reveals she was the result of a 20-year affair her mum had with Ali in his heydays.

She claims a 1988 paternity test proves she is his child and that Ali agreed to having his name on her birth certificate.

Kiiursten Mensah Ali is Mohammed Ali’s 10th child. Kiiursten lives in Houston,Texas

Father’s pride: Ali with Kiiursti as a baby

In love: Ali had a long relationship with Barbara Mensah

Kiiursten Mensah Ali is Mohammed Ali’s 10th child. Kiiursten lives in Houston, Texas. She is pictured with her Mum Barbara Mensah Ali and her Husband Albert Adams Jr. Various collect photos also show Mohammed with John Travolta, Her Sister (orange outfit) Maryum. A young girl with Glasses is Kiiursten, Mohammed with a random woman and man unidentified and b+w of her Mum Barbara too.

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HERE ARE THE TOP 5 PIMPED MATATUS IN NAIROBI

SEE ALSO: 12 Types of Students in every Class

Photos Courtesy of Matwana

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THE BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS OF WASHINGTON DC AFTER 9/11

Exactly thirteen years ago on Thursday, one of the most recognisable skylines on the planet was left scarred by attacks that would dramatically change the course of world events.

The World Trade Centre towers had dominated New York since 1973 but were brought down in a matter of minutes by hi-jacked air crafts flown by Al Qaeda fanatics.

Along with attacks on the Pentagon and the downing of a fourth airliner in Pennsylvania, 2,977 civilians were killed.

As a tribute – and a sign of defiance – authorities decided to build an even taller tower at the site of what was dubbed Ground Zero.

One World Trade Center is 1,776 ft high, a reference to the year of the US declaration of independence.

These slider photos show the remarkable contrast between the destruction wrought on that day and what has been built since in tribute.

BEFORE

AFTER

The Manhattan skyline with the Statue of Liberty visible in the distance

BEFORE

AFTER

The Empire State Building with the Twin Towers/Freedom Tower in the background

BEFORE

AFTER

New Yorkers flee the devastating dust cloud across the Brooklyn Bridge. Today things are calmer BEFORE

AFTER

Out of the utter devastation seen at what remained of the two massive towers has grown the foundations of what will replace them

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