PARASHA ONLINE: LIFESTYLE

Showing posts with label LIFESTYLE. Show all posts

UoN COMRADES FUNNY RESPONSES TO THE LOSS OF WATER IN THEIR CAMPO

UoN is known for its vicious attacks againts those oppressing their rights as comrades. They are also among the Top 10 striking Universities in the world and thanks to their unity and comradeship. This time round, they have decided to play it cool by striking via social media against the water disconnection in their campuses. Here are some of their comments:

"The ultimatum that I gave to swa offices has come to an end. In the next 30 minutes water should be overflowing in the halls. On my way to main campus.katuva must weep!!!" - Irene Kendi

"ATTENTION!!
A RESIDENT OF HALL 3 TRIED HAVING SEX WITHOUT WATER THRICE. RIGHT NOW HE IS IN A COMMA.....SEX WITHOUT WATER IS DEADLY, SONU CHAIRMAN MUST ACT WITH SPEED!"

"Sex without water causes friction ‪#‎peace‬"

"Babu Owino what is happening in female halls of residence especially hall 4???????There has been no water for one week and we are very worried..please intervene your wisdom please........."

"No water in hall 27 (WAKULIMA HOSTELS), Upper kabete,UoN, too alarming"

"Trending now ‪#‎sexwithoutwater‬"

"One day ultimatum for SWA to supply water to comrades,failure to which swa director and katuva to pack,when dialogue fails we use force." - Babu Owino

We live in a time of “over-sharing.” Yet, in the wake of many celebrities and high profile business men and women getting busted for something they’ve said on social media, we’ve comprised this simple list of when to stay off of social media. Because, ladies and gentlemen, despite what you’ve heard, everything digital can be reproduced (even if it’s deleted). Take a look:

1. When You Don’t Know All The Facts
This by far crosses across racial, ethnic and age lines. There are so many untruths on social media, that it’s baffling. One of the best things about the internet is also one of the worst things: that anybody can say ANYTHING at any time–even if it’s untrue. Many of these so-called sites come up with crazy headlines just to get you to click or start mess. Do your research. Find out the facts, then post. Not before, not during.

2. When You’re Obsessed With Someone
If you find yourself constantly checking someone’s facebook, twitter, AND instagram, it may be time for you to stop, take a break and get off of social media. Evaluate why you are so interested in this person’s life and see if it’s really healthy for you. Internet stalking is real, but it can be cured by logging off and doing something more beneficial.
…and the number ONE time you shouldn’t post on social media is…

3. When You Have Committed A Crime
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised about how many people very blatantly brag on social media about the illegal movies they’ve downloaded or the clothes they’ve “borrowed” or even how they’ve illegally entered someone’s place. If that’s you, stay off of social media.

4. When You’re In The Middle Of A Breakup
You’re in a relationship, then you’re not. Your relationship status keeps changing like Samuel L. Jackson’s wigs in movies. People don’t want to see that, let alone be bothered with it. If you’re in the middle of a breakup or rough patch in your relationship, keep it to yourself. If it’s open to the public, it gives the public the opportunity to swoop in and make the real relationship worse.

5. When You’re Lonely
Some may not agree with this, but when you’re lonely and you post it on social media, everyone may not feel like giving you the “warm & fuzzy” feeling that you need at that moment. It’s those not-so-good responses to your lonely posts that may take you deeper into depression.

6. When You Want To Tell The Whole Story, But Can’t
There’s few things in social media more annoying that when someone creates a post that is vague yet emotional. It’s like someone tells you something but doesn’t finish.

7. When You’re Angry or Upset
Just like when you’re in an argument with someone while heated, you may say things that you really regret. And while in the real world you can forgive and forget, everything digital
If you follow even half of these suggestions, your time on social media will not only be more productive, it will be more fun!

He started from here....

then upgraded to this...

He's a respected man even in the states, his billboards are in the Times Square New York

Thuku as a humanitarian

in his humble crib


his backyard as he hosted some kids from a children's home

Thuku with his abroad friend


When Thuku hosted Sonko in his office to give him advice on how to run Nairobi

Thuku at a past meeting, at least he's not bored like the guy behind him

Just call it the “clap app.”
Well, don’t. It’s actually called Healthvana and it’s designed to halt the spread of sexually transmitted disease. The newly launched app lets users verify their clean bill of health (or, maybe not) to potential suitors so the second date isn’t a trip to the clinic.

Founder Ramin Bastani told ABC News he’s putting a digital spin on the creepy phrase “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“It’s no different if you went to the doctor and got a printout and showed [your partner] that,” he said. “We want to eradicate that idea that no news is good news.”

For someone who gets tested a lot, the back and forth of having an updated health record on hand to show potential lovers can be too much of a hassle. Healthvana wants to make it easier for eligible singles to prove they’re free and clear of STDs.

“If I want to go back and get my record, it is such a nightmare,” Bastani told ABC News. “It’s hard to get someone on the phone. And if I go back to the clinic, I wait in line for an hour-plus, just like everyone else, just to see someone and maybe get the records. And the whole time I am anxious and nervous.”

Bastani said the app, developed along with the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, also eliminates the anxiety of waiting for test results. Users can instantly have their lab HIV, syphilis and gonorrhea results back from the doctors.

“We want to eradicate that idea that no news is good news,” Bastani said.

Michael Kaplan, the president of charity AIDS United, told ABC News he thought the openness of sharing whether someone has an STD is a step in cutting down of those who get infected.

“What I can tell you as someone who tested HIV positive back in 1992, with clarity that I wanted my past partners to know, is that my only option back then was calling them — it wasn’t even Facebook or social media,” he said.

Adapted

Facebook and Twitter is always filled with messages, status updates and memes containing words of wisdom for those who are in the dating pool waiting to find true love.  Many of these status updates come from people who have passed through the ropes of courting and have now ended up on the side of commitment while others contain information from those who have become bitter because of relationships that missed the mark of happiness.
It can be difficult sometimes for a woman who doesn’t know a thing about the standards of dating and the “rules” that follow them to know just exactly what to do to land the heart of a man who has caught her attention, but world renowned celebrity relationship coach Tony Gaskins always has a great message for women looking to land the men they deserve.
In a recent Facebook post, Tony spoke about the most common mistake women make when dating: praising a boyfriend. What he meant by praise is the extra effort and support women give to the men they are simply courting that haven’t yet promised her a lifetime of commitment.
She cooks, cleans and has sex with him on command, remains faithful and loyal and even moves in with him. Tony made it a point to encourage women to stop praising boyfriends and to refrain from giving everything before a lifelong commitment has been promised.  “Why would a man work to have a woman if she is giving everything willingly with little effort being given to earn her,” Tony rhetorically asks to get the attention of his woman audience.
His advice to women who give too much too soon in a relationship is to “close your legs and open your mind to get to know a man before giving everything.”  This is a solid piece of advice for any woman looking for long term/lifetime commitment from a man. It is natural for a woman to be giving and nurturing, but giving in abundance before a man has said the words “I choose you for life” only places a woman in a position to be taken advantage of.
There needs to be a cap put on the amount a woman gives to a man before securing a future with him. After all, if one gives it all away in the beginning there is nothing to look forward to. It’s ok to be caring and nurturing to a boyfriend, however, it takes some reservation in order to turn the relationship from a courtship to a marriage. Time should be taken to sincerely get to know a person mentally and spiritually.  When a man has to work to earn the affections of a woman, it is much more appreciated than when it is simply given out of the feeling of having to keep a man satisfied.
For the single and still searching women out there, try Tony’s advice and see how it works for you.  Don’t give up too much too soon.

You would think that putting on perfume would be the most non-complex part of your beauty routine, but it may be more complicated than you think! Are you committing any of these perfume crimes? If so, here is how to fix them:

Mistake #1: Rubbing Your Wrists Together

This may be limiting the length of time your scent lasts. There are three notes that make up a fragrance, and these are also what holds its scent. When you rub your wrists together, the friction and heat burn through the top and middle note, making your perfume spritz a complete waste of time.

Mistake #2: You Only Put It On Your Wrists

Body heat is the main activator of perfume, therefore applying it to pulse points are your best options. Try applying it to your wrists, neck, behind your knees, ankles and chest. Remember: pick your placement wisely, and don’t overdo it. Try two to three places AT MOST!
Application to your clothes and hair is okay as well, but not ideal as the fragrance won’t be projected as much without your body heat.

Mistake #3: Not Moisturizing Before Your Apply

If you’re looking to have that all night scent, moisturize before spritzing! Moisturized skin clings to a fragrance much longer. For best results, try applying a lotion with the same scent as your perfume, or an unscented moisturizer.

Mistake #4: You Leave the Bottle Out On Your Vanity

As pretty as your bottle may be, fragrances last the longest in the refrigerator. Though keeping your scents next to your fruits and veggies may gross you out, it is the best storage option for them. The alternative is keep them in a dark, cool environment as far away from direct sunlight and heat. The heat from the sun will break down the fragrance faster and can even change the way it smells!

Mistake #5: You Stole Your Friend’s Fragrance

So you just love the way it smells on her right and you don’t mind being called a copy cat? Well just remember that the way it smells on her is going to be different from how it smells on you. Your body’s chemistry is unique to you and it completes the outcome of the fragrance once it’s applied. A best practice is to try it out before you run out and buy it!

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Labels: CAMPUS, ENTERTAINMENT, LIFESTYLE
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According to the latest 2014 World Drug Report , the West African nation of Ghana has been named the world’s largest per capita population of weed smokers. 2.8 million Ghanaians out of about the 25,000,000 population likes to light it up and get high on a daily basis. That’s a whopping 11.2% of the populace.

Other countries with a notorious weed-smoking habits includes the usual suspects ; Jamaica, U.S., Nigeria and Netherlands, but none of them come close to Ghana.

While usage in the U.S. rose after some marijuana legalization began in 2012, it’s still under 10%. It’s surprising, then, that Ghana still comes out on top even though marijuana consumption is illegal per its constitution.

Here’s a quick look at the national culture that has made Ghanaians the world’s top weed smokers:

What’s the weed scene like in Ghana?

Similar to most African countries, marijuana is actually illegal in Ghana, but seems to be openly acceptable by the new generation. Smoking weed in high schools and the university is considered ‘cool’. The area boys who are known to smoke ganja are typically regarded as the ‘cool kids on the block’, and are generally respected by the community they reside.

Weed in Ghana is very cheap.

One-eighth of an ounce of high-quality weed can cost GHC 30 ($15) — in the U.S., one-eighth costs $30 to $50. There are generally three grades available: “Marri” is low-quality, “polli” is medium-grade and “riger” is the top-shelf stuff.

The preferred place to smoke weed in Ghana?

The ‘BUSH’ in the local communities are notoriously known as the ‘ganja’ spots. Most of the smoking is done outside in the bush. It’s very, very warm in Ghana, and thankfully there are many small hut-and-bench combos, which allow for cool breezes to flow over you while hiding from the ever-present glaring sun.

The Narcotics Control Board (NACOB) boss is open to legalization

The Executive Secretary of the Narcotics Control Board (NACOB) can see some wisdom in the legalisation of cannabis sativa because increasingly, ordinary people do not think that possessing the mentally-disturbing substance is a crime.

Take or leave it, there is “a virtual legalisation” of marijuana because already “mothers, sisters, girlfriends and wives are using stuff made of Indian hemp” for their hair”, the tough-talking Yaw Akrasi Sarpong said on Accra-based Power FM earlier this year.
Why do the people of Ghana love weed more than everyone else?
It’s very unclear why, maybe the Rastafarians have finally found a way to positively influence the public or Ghanaians simply know how to fun better than everyone else?

Download the complete report HERE

Welcome to the digital generation where the cons are more tactic than ever... It's not about violence but soft robbery. Here are some of the witnessed scenes : Episode 1 Annabel (not her real name) was in a ma3 when a 'sickly' lady sat next to her. Moments later, she requested for Annabel's phone to call her hubby before the matatu took off. She went to an ally purportedly calling the hubby. Annabel was beginning to get jitters and thought her phone was officially stolen. Fortunately, the lady came back and handed her phone back. Later in the day she got a text from Ian requesting for a soft loan of 8k. She sent him cash via mpesa only to get a message telling her that she had sent money to one Irene Xemia (not real name) . That's when the whole event hit her. She had been duped. The lady had apparently changed contact details of ian and saved her own number. Episode 2 Enid (not her real name) operates an mpesa shop in the city centre. On this particular day, a man enters the shop an wishes to withdraw some amount. Enid patiently waits for correspondence in her mpesa phone. Immediately the motification message comes through, the man excuses herself as to take a call. On the other side, Enid is enthusiastically counting the notes before handing him the cash. The man is happy and Enid is happy to serve the elegant looking client. Drama unfolds in the evening when she is doing balancing and realizes she is 10k short. It then dawns on her what had actually happend. Fortunately, she contacts the customer care and is sorted out

By @LizAbel

1.Hearing one of your co-workers take credit for something you did, and having to exercise all your strength not to murder them.

2.Having to pretend like you weren’t just taking a selfie. Even though your boss clearly saw you do it.

3.Knowing you kind of fucked something up, and trying to figure out who else to blame for it.

4.When you get a RAISE and then excitedly open your next paycheck only to see that actually, no, that wasn’t a raise after taxes.

5.Starting the day off by spilling something on your outfit, and just having to live with it/awkwardly explain it away.

6.Going to a work event, drinking some things, and then WHOOPS: You’re sloppy drunk.

7.Having a really bad day at work and unintentionally taking your rage out on everyone else, then having to awkwardly apologize for it.

8.Coming back from a super long lunch and your boss asks, “Where were you?” and it’s like THEY KNOW.

9.When one of your co-workers asks you to help them with some bullshit project and you have to politely decline.

10.When you move your chair and it makes a squeak that sounds way too similar to a fart.

11.Actually farting at your desk and having to desperately attempt to mask the scent.

12.Being caught looking up things that aren’t work, and just having to awkwardly state the obvious.

13.That unfortunate moment when you realize that something you do is actually pretty annoying to other people.

14.Getting super friendly with co workers and then completely over sharing to a point of no fucking return.

15.And when some youthful intern comes in and does something that reminds you of how old you are.

Don't fall for these two new Facebook scams

It’s a bad time to be a free loader or graphic violence voyeur on Facebook. Two new scams promising, respectively, a free iPhone6 and a video of a woman being killed by her husband are making the social media rounds and leaving anyone who clicks with a fresh batch of malware on their computer, or worse. Anyhow, here’s what you need to look out for:

1. No, you’re not getting a free iPhone 6

This scam is asking Facebook users to “like” their page, fill out a survey and then share a link to their site with your friends to get a shiny, new, Pop Tart-sized iPhone 6. It’s that sharing component that is enabling it to spread across news feeds.

According to Hoax-Slayer.com, “Some of the available surveys want you to provide your mobile phone number, ostensibly to go in the draw for extra prizes or offers. But by submitting your number, you will actually be subscribing to a very expensive text-messaging “service” that will charge you several dollars every time it sends you a message.”

So, no new iPhone then? No. No new iPhone. But you will be revealing your personal information, perhaps some money and will have probably earned the wrath of any friends you spammed into signing up for the same scam.

2. No, there’s no video of an unspeakably violent crime for you to watch

The short version? If you see this or anything resembling it on Facebook or elsewhere online, do not click it. And not just because you’re above watching someone else’s alleged death.

The longer version? If you absolutely insist on clicking anyway, you’ll be taken to a third-party site that is dressed up to look like it’s affiliated with Facebook. There will be convincing comments there left by other “viewers” about how shocking the video is and that you must click it and that you won’t believe your eyes and blah, blah, blah, big gigantic scam.

And if you still insist on clicking the actual video, you’ll be prompted to first share the video with your friends and install a plugin before being allowed to watch it. This is where the malware comes in, as the blog Hot For Security explains: “When clicking on the install button, users end up downloading an executable file on their computers, which drops adware or malicious code, depending on their luck.”

The blog says more than 4,000 people have already fallen for the scam. But at least now we know you won’t be number 4,001.

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Labels: CELEBRITY, ENTERTAINMENT, LIFESTYLE
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Chris Brown's attempts at appealing to all corners of the urban pop spectrum at-present are commendable, but possibly a case of the vocalist doing too much.

Regardless of their more recent failures or successes, some celebrities remain inextricably linked to a past incident instead of their craft. Names such as Ike Turner and O.J. Simpson come to mind as transcendent talents who crossed the line separating fame from infamy. There are moments on his sixth studio album X that would lead you to believe Chris Brown can vie for the title of the best pop vocalist of the current lot hoping to be considered as a modern heir apparent to Michael Jackson. And while he approaches excellence on the surface, for some listeners his less-than-stellar criminal record places a glass ceiling on the overall excellence of any of his recorded material. Thus, with half of X representing some of Pop R&B’s most impressive cuts of 2014 (while, yes, the other half feeling dreadfully uninspired), Brown still faces being supremely talented yet always far less than optimally successful.

Loyal ran the summer, and aside from the Michael Jackson appropriating album lead-in single “Fine China” (available on the deluxe version), is the best-known hits on the album to-date. Like a great deal of the material on X, the NicNac production has two guest features (Tyga and Lil Wayne) and bears a strong resemblance to much of DJ Mustard’s mid-tempo club anthems that have dominated the past 12 months. It’s as if the song’s relaxed tempo invites relaxed emceeing and songwriting too, as the number of incredibly vapid and obviously misogynistic come-ons here reaches a near uncomfortable level.
Dance culture is here too. The progressive House track “Don’t Be Gone Too Long” lacks a powerful and earnest enough vocal performance to buoy the barely-there synths and the UK funky-meets-dub bass of Razihel’s “Body Shots” is reminiscent of Katy B’s work on Magnetic Man’s 2012 single “I Need Air,” meaning that the usually on point Brown is about two years off-trend regarding the ever evolving world of dance. Diplo takes the reigns for eponymous and Trap-as-EDM, 808 and synth laser-driven single “X,” which, in Brown emphatically stating that “[he] swears to god he’s moving on!” is either an amazing kiss-off to well documented on again/off again flame Rihanna, or an angry note to on again/off again mate Karreuche Tran. And that’s the thing with Brown and X. The overwhelming majority of artists would get the benefit of addressing a hypothetical ex. Aside from “Team Breezy,” which listeners will extend Brown the courtesy of painting himself the victim? Is the reference to being “put on layaway” not a shot at Rihanna splitting time between Brown and Rap superstar Drake?

X’s weakest points are where Brown absolutely does too much and is off-course in his answers to commercially popular and guitar-driven styles. “Autumn Leaves” is definitely soulful, yet in feeling entirely too lyrically bathed in Brown’s lovelorn and litigious past, can’t even be saved by the introspective lyrical talents of Kendrick Lamar. “See You Around?” Well, the less said about Chris Brown aping the style and sound of jug-band rockers Mumford and Sons, the better.
The album’s strongest suit is in traditional love-sexy rhythm and blues. These work in part because Brown enlists some of his peers to play to their strong suits. Usher co-opts his 2008 hit “Love In This Club” for “New Flame.” Brown and fellow R. Kelly disciple Trey Songz drop trite R. Kelly song titles as puns on Mel and Mus’ soulful trap ballad “Songs On 12 Play,” while “Drown In It” is an out in the open ode to cunnilingus—Kellz the master joining his student on a hyper-sexual duet with lyrics swaddled in simmering bass.
Thankfully, X also has offerings that are outstanding in their own unique ways. Female duets “Drunk Texting” and “Do Better” are likely odes to things Brown himself is likely quite well acquainted with of late. Both Jhene Aiko and Brandy respectively delivering mature performances that when melded with Brown’s sometimes juvenile real-life behavior make both listens feel like more conversations on Brown’s current life than mere Pop ditties. “Stereotype” finds Danja producing something that grabs deep into the past (Stevie Wonder-style, Moog-type synths) and blends it with the energy of big-room house handclaps and trapped out bass for a true winner. When Brown labels his ex a negative “stereotype” that he’d like to forget, it’s a message that Brown—after being heartbroken for three albums—is hopefully ready to move on to a new (and hopefully lyrically and sonically fresh) chapter of his life.
Personality aside, Chris Brown’s ability to succeed artistically at delivering sounds in all three sectors of urban Pop makes this release a great, yet disjointed listen. From commercially dominant ratchet Rap/Soul to heartfelt and yearning album cuts to EDM-styled party tracks, Brown’s attempts at appealing to all corners of the urban Pop spectrum at-present are commendable, but possibly a case of the vocalist doing too much.

Courtesy of HipHopDX

1.This is an overly complicated belt. Seriously, is this a chastity belt?
2. Note to self: buy him new pants. If I don’t, his mother will get more of these monstrosities.
3. Hm, how to start?
4. Christ, this is taking a long time. Is he delaying on purpose or am I really bad at this?
5. If I pretend to be enjoying this that might speed things up.
6. Jaw ache. Jaw ache!!!!
7. Oh well, at least he’s not as big as that guy I met on holiday
8. Er, grabbing the back of my head may seem sexy but I’d rather not choke to death, thanks.
9. I wonder if men secretly find vaginas as gross-looking as women find penises.
10. Not as gross as balls though. There’s really nothing sexy about a ball. We even don't like football
11. If I look in his eyes while I’m doing this that will speed things up, won’t it?
12. I really want to stop now but it seems like I might actually be getting somewhere.
13. Dilemma: if I switch to hand I’ll be way more comfortable. But that might set things back a bit.
14. That’s it, I can’t breathe, I’m switching to hand.
15. Why do men like this so much anyway?
16. I really should have tied my hair back.
17. Don’t want to swallow. Spit seems rude. Boobs might be better but I don’t trust his aim.
18. If he’d used a condom I wouldn’t be having this dilemma.
19. Shit, better decide soon.
20. Oops, neck and hair it is then. Oh well, better than that time I got red eye.
21. Crap, this will take ages to shampoo out.

REVEALED: The 10 Facebook crimes that will make your friends delete you

When we first signed up to Facebook in 2007 we were all about the adding. So much friends. So much social. So much fun. Now we’re deleting, because, well, it turns out people are hella annoying.
When asked the main reasons they’d delete someone on the social media site, British adults named ‘excessive bragging’ and ‘nomination posts’ as the top two.
Over 50 per cent of the 2,000 people interviewed by personalised gift website gonedigging.co.uk agreed that they’d deleted people because of both reasons. Yikes.
*Deletes photo of self sipping champagne with member of MIC in background*
‘Pokes’ also came in the top 10, with 24 per cent of people saying they’d had to delete someone for using the once-popular Facebook function, which is quite tickling in itself – who knew there were people out there still poking?
Unsurprisingly, excessive selfie-posting is likely to lead to a cull too, with 37 per cent saying they would cut off a friend who posted too many vanity photos.
Maybe it’s time we all pulled ourselves away from Facebook and y’know read a book or caught up with someone over a mug of coffee instead?

Scientists experiment on obscure plants, insects and bacteria found in the most inaccessible places in the world in the name of medical progress.And now,Pharmacists at the University of California believe that the vagina plays host to a bacterium, Lactobacillus gasseri, which can be used by scientists to create highly effective antibiotics to fight bacterial infections.
This vaginal bacterium, unlike traditional antibiotics, does not kill ‘good’ bacteria (remember the Yakult adverts) co-existing in the body in what is described by as a scorched earth effect.
Dr Michael Fischbach from the University of California’s San Francisco School of Pharmacy spoke to Huffington Post: ‘We used to think that drugs were discovered by drug companies and approved by the FDA and then prescribed by a physician, and then they get to you.
‘What this finding shows is that bacteria that live on and inside of us are mounting an end run around the process.’
So ladies, thank you for your vaginas.

Courtesy

A trainee doctor has died while producing a sample at a sperm bank. Zheng Gang, who suffered a heart attack, was found unresponsive in a booth at the building at China’s Wuhan University.

Worried workers had accessed his private booth when they realised he had spent two hours inside. They discovered the 23-year-old unconscious and despite their attempts to revive him he was pronounced dead at the scene.It was his fourth visit in just over a week and he had reportedly been using sexy magazines to help him. The incident was revealed after Mr Gang’s family took the sperm bank to court claiming they were responsible for his death in January 2011.
The court dismissed the action saying Zheng was mature enough to make his own decisions. The family had been awarded £27,000 by a lower court but were seeking £1 million in compensation.

Remember how when we were children we would eat the queencake and its wrapper? No? Really? It’s just me?
Ok, remember how after you were done with your maziwa you would rip open the box and proceed to lick everything sticky left hanging on the pack walls? Oh come on, it could not have been just me and my classmates. I see a few smiles and nods, so I will assume that I am normal.
The first time you ate the queencake — I am informed they are now referred to as cupcakes — and threw away the wrapper, you knew you right there that you were grown, you were ready to pay taxes and move out of your mother’s house. Your parents could no longer whip you in public. It was a rite of passage for many, nay, all of us.
It was tough the first time you drank yoghurt and did not rip the packaging open and proceeded to act as if you were raised by wolves. It was the hardest thing ever, you knew you were done with it as a normal person but the wolf in you wanted to ensure that you licked everything off. So you put it aside and just watched it chilling there, mocking you.You could tell it was yelling at you, “Go ahead, lick me if you are man enough. Nyenyenyee…” and there was nothing you could do about it.
It never got easy until three years later when your mind did not bother to think of the extra five drops inside.This was the same time you stopped believing in the three-second germ rule. You know the rule, you are busy enjoying something and then it breaks away and lands on the floor with a vengeance. You follow it down with the speed of light, grab it, blow on it, and throw it into your mouth.
Yes, we all believed that germs also wait for three seconds before attacking any morsel that drops from your plate. They are there, just chilling, when this piece of mango drops and a siren goes off, warning every germ to stay away from it for three seconds just in case some human really wanted to eat it.
And what made us think you can blow germs away? If that was the case, then the makers of Dettol and Lifebouy would not be spending millions educating children on the need to wash their hands. Just blow into your hand and your breath is like a hurricane off the coast of Florida; just wipes out an entire generation.But the whole growing up bit, the rite of passage and the like, only happened to us when out in public.
We all have some habits that, if exposed to the world, would get us killed. I know some people with such revolting habits they would cause a pig to vomit.
We all have this primitive nature inside all of us that breaks out when we are alone in the house. That three-second rule, forget it, if I was eating it and it fell, guess what, we are all eating it.
Have a drop of yoghurt on your cheek, you will stretch your tongue until you get it and ingest it. We all have foods or snacks that we really enjoy when eating at home because when consumed primitive-style, there is nothing sweeter or better in the world.
Look at how you eat a burger, pizza, ice cream when you are in public and when at home. Be honest, which one is the better setting? Having meat? Look at how you strip a bone down to the marrow you even impress dogs when alone, and look at how you just nimble on it in public. I am telling you, people, we are all alike behind private doors.
You could be watching TV when a piece of your pizza lands on your arm and instead of using your fingers, you, without warning, just find your mouth picking it up from your arm. Do not feel ashamed, we all do it.
There is nothing to be ashamed of (especially you Frank), it is just what it is.

Keeping extra ordinarily long nails is highly advisable for those at the end of the 'puff-puff pass' line

When logging in to Face book becomes Rocket science or SMA for KU students