HOW MEN CAN BE WOMEN REPS

One would think they always take the 80baab mathree coz they got lotsa chumz; no, hapana. On a normal day, they would take the 50baab mathree, but not on a working day (um,’work’ is anything that when done, brings money in form of wage,salary,loot,deni etc). Evangelists must eat, neon imekua kazi skuizi. These jamaaz have formed a cartel of business in town, a SACCO to be precise. As I said earlier, they prefer the 80baab fare coz most commuters would always get that ka’20 bob change which would later be given as ‘sadaka’ as per the preacher’s plight. They don’t use the 50baab mathree coz the law of probability has shown that most commuters always carry 50 notes at indo conda asihepe na doh zao. WORD. The biz, however, has some risks; the preacher must always sort the cops out in case the mat is stopped for overloading- they are always the only people standing (what is the singular of excess?). Business is always bad in the Tao-Eastleigh route but word is out that imams are soon joining the camp. Did I say that these jamaaz don’t pay fare? What they give the condas chini ya maji is the ‘rent’(amount paid for using one’s premises for business). The Coasterians have now taken ‘mazingaombwe’ to another level, from cats speaking to them getting their heads into jericans and utilizing the 20litre air for 3 days (minus food).  If such an incidence occurred in China (where cat meat is a delicacy), then it would be called an invention, not witchcraft! A cat catcher would have been invented and most likely dubbed ‘Curiostrokiller Alpha 1’.Unlike in Kenya where the best we could do with a jerican was to toboa it and put a speaker inside and gladly listen to KBC and some roots(…in a kinyozi). Just juzi, France legalized gay marriages; I think this will create chaos in their next general election where ‘men’ would want to be women reps coz of their role in gay marriages (dig it??). I have this kinda promiscuous friend of mine but I blame his parents for his state. First, they named him Dick Mburu and 20 years, the guy buys a ride and gets a KBJ 693J. He later sets up a new office in K’Street’s Cianda House (Jang’os know how bad this building is). This new sheng trend of syllable inversion that took over from kina ‘xaxa’, xawa, xweerie…is getting outta hand way so fast. Some chic once told me ati anataka ‘munju’…to me that was a chic until after I was slapped ndo nkajua that she wanted her ‘njumu’ (shoes). Chronic ones will even tell you that they are having a class from 4am-2am, really??? I have been watchin this Consumer Watch in Ntv where they compare the prices of various basic item-bundles then sum up the total and tell you the cheapest supermarket. This is my advice as an economist; ALWAYS DO YOUR SHOPPING AT RONALD NGALA STREET. This is where roughly all ‘mwananchi’ supermarkets are; Naivas,Tuskys, Nakumatt, Ukwala and Bestly. Oh, by ‘mwananchi supermarket’, I meant a supermarket without a defined parking…ile ya watu wa matatu. You first windowshop for all the items you want then you walk into the different supermarkets and buy only the cheapest; the distance covered here is even shorter than the one covered when shopping inside Nakumatt  lifestyle. WORD.