MWANAUME NI EFFORT

Big up to Chuom 32

Mwanaume ni effort, mwanamke ni pivot na mtoto ndio load!!!

Um, have you ever been ‘handwad’ by thugs when walkin with your chic n u can’t pull a superman stunt?(or simply a Makmende, for relevance purposes!). Here is some ‘lil finding that I observed in my campo which literally has more chics than dudeys (including the VC-Vice Chancelloress). Chics with Luhya boyfies are lucky in times of danger coz their ‘obohos’ will fight the thugs thus making full use of obusuma(roughly translates to energy giving food but taken in abundance, for this case only)Luhya dudes rarely chicken out!!!…Other chics prefer Kalenjin ‘boyos’ (swag name for an athlete with Reebok Sport shoes n an Attitas track suit). These jamaaz will leave their chics and run for help…and the help is guaranteed to arrive in, mathematically, less than 3 minutes in a distance less than 2kms. Chics with Luo rarely get mugged in the streets coz maybe they are driven in a ‘chauffeured mini Hammer’ (aka Probox/Succeed)...Hey, not all of them drive, kuna wale wa Gor wenye si hutembea nao kutoka City hadi Railways: these ones will protect their chics by simply taking a short sprint and then launch African Grenades on the thugs!!! No wonder most of em are ‘stoners’! Still on jang’os, I overheard one of em complaining to the IMAX officials that hez tired with their movies and that they should start showing series and charge one episode at the price of a movie.

Mombasa is so full of Italianos…and Nairobi is so full of Chinese Ching’ Chongs. The Government should swap the population by replacing the Italianos in the coast with the Nainese (a Chinese who came to build Thika Rd but now prefers Nairobi to Beijing). At least with more Chinese in the Coast, there will be less dogs and this means the university chics will go back to their men; problem solved? Elsewhere, other campus chics are studying hard…um, I mean studying their hustles well. They are now tired with getting Phds and are now pursuing MBAs (Phd- Pretty Huge Dick and broke campus dudes MBA- Married But Available men)

Why do most drinkers mix their vodka with Coca Cola? Perhaps it’s coz of dilution but I kinda differ with them. It’s making the drink even more concentrated coz my Primary Science teacher told us that Coke contains caffeine which is a drug. So, can I really conclude that mixing vodka and coke isn’t a dilution process? Anyway, most Tanzanians are migrating into Kenya just coz miraa is very legal here and very illegal in their land. They have even nicknamed Meru as ‘Amsterdamu’. Getting the Al Shabaab is very easy…just arrest all Somalis who are Arsenal fans, call them The Gunners . Oh, and one more thing, eff Arsenal!!!

@Slitherbee