COMRADES LASH OUT AT BABU OWINO FOR QUITING POLITICS

After Babu Owino announced that he is virtually quiting varsity politics by not contesting for SONU presidency, many students appeared to feel insecure as depicted in their social media reactions. Here are some of the comments made:

Post 1

"BABU OWINO, LISTEN TO THE COMRADES VOICE!

The commander in chief of unarmed comrades, Major General Comrade BABU OWINO must vie again for SONU Chairmanship whether he likes it or not. BABU OWINO, we shall campaign for you,vote for you and swear you in even in your absentia.

If you wont pick nomination forms, we shall block all highways, kiosks, all toilets and all clubs and restaraunts including SABINA JOY.

No comrade shall erect, ejaculate nor have sex untill you become the next SONU Chairman.

Comrades will be frustrated by short and handsome lecturers, UON shall be ranked after Meru University, Suspensions shall be a common unit in Uon if you dont vie.

BABU OWINO MUST BE FORCED TO VIE AGAIN...‪#‎NO‬MERCY

‪#‎Babulous‬
‪#‎osemokeoliel‬

Post 2

"POWER BREAKFAST SHOW CITIZEN TV.......Incase you missed it...

Kirigo Ng'arwa.........welcome to the show Mr Babu Owino.

Babu Owino......Thank you Ng'arwa.

Ng'arwa.Tell Kenyans who is Babu Owino..

Babu Owino.....I am a patriotic Kenyan citizen,a christian,a philanthropist,a humanitarian and a believer in free concious currently am a resident of Nairobi and a university student leader.

Kirigo.....I thought you had graduated? What prompted you to come back for a second degree at The university of Nairobi?

Babu..............There is no limit as to how many degrees or academic credentials one should attain,I believe that it is through Education that people can be empowered,both socially,economically and politically..

Kirigo.........yesterday,you posted in the university forum that you will not contest for the sonu chair seat for the third time,what can you say?

Babu Owino.....I have all the right and freedom to speak my mind,But for now,am in office and what matters is service delievery and protecting the interest of my fellow students who elected me...

Kirigo.....So are you saying that you will not vie again??

Babu......It has never been my personal decision to vie,not even before,students often leave me with no option,when time comes,we shall talk about that..

Kirigo ...alright,what is you take about referendum?

Babu Owino....as the chairman of all versity students in this country of which some are affiliated to cord and some jubilee,I decline to take a stand,at least not for now...

Kirigo...you contested for Westlands Mp seat in the last general elections and lost,any future plans to win the seat?

Babu Owino...(laughing) Ng'arwa ,I never lost the seat,I won the ODM ticket but since somebody was a co..principle of cord,they decided to favour their brother...for now am the standing Mp for westlands since that other one is the sitting Mp,,,,ofcourse 2017 I will capture the seat,am a resident of westlands and the the people there identify well with me.

(Babu Owino takes a sip of tea)

reported by Odoyo Munga...

Out of 100% give Babu Marks according to the interview.."

Post 3

"TOMORROW i will walk naked all over main campus.Babu must be chair again.I will shower naked at the fountain of knowledge and shave my pubic hair in mbeche's office,BABU must be chair again"

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NAIROBI'S DIGITAL THIEVES

Welcome to the digital generation where the cons are more tactic than ever... It's not about violence but soft robbery. Here are some of the witnessed scenes : Episode 1 Annabel (not her real name) was in a ma3 when a 'sickly' lady sat next to her. Moments later, she requested for Annabel's phone to call her hubby before the matatu took off. She went to an ally purportedly calling the hubby. Annabel was beginning to get jitters and thought her phone was officially stolen. Fortunately, the lady came back and handed her phone back. Later in the day she got a text from Ian requesting for a soft loan of 8k. She sent him cash via mpesa only to get a message telling her that she had sent money to one Irene Xemia (not real name) . That's when the whole event hit her. She had been duped. The lady had apparently changed contact details of ian and saved her own number. Episode 2 Enid (not her real name) operates an mpesa shop in the city centre. On this particular day, a man enters the shop an wishes to withdraw some amount. Enid patiently waits for correspondence in her mpesa phone. Immediately the motification message comes through, the man excuses herself as to take a call. On the other side, Enid is enthusiastically counting the notes before handing him the cash. The man is happy and Enid is happy to serve the elegant looking client. Drama unfolds in the evening when she is doing balancing and realizes she is 10k short. It then dawns on her what had actually happend. Fortunately, she contacts the customer care and is sorted out

By @LizAbel

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HERE ARE THE TOP 5 PIMPED MATATUS IN NAIROBI

SEE ALSO: 12 Types of Students in every Class

Photos Courtesy of Matwana

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HOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE GROWING UP

Remember how when we were children we would eat the queencake and its wrapper? No? Really? It’s just me?
Ok, remember how after you were done with your maziwa you would rip open the box and proceed to lick everything sticky left hanging on the pack walls? Oh come on, it could not have been just me and my classmates. I see a few smiles and nods, so I will assume that I am normal.
The first time you ate the queencake — I am informed they are now referred to as cupcakes — and threw away the wrapper, you knew you right there that you were grown, you were ready to pay taxes and move out of your mother’s house. Your parents could no longer whip you in public. It was a rite of passage for many, nay, all of us.
It was tough the first time you drank yoghurt and did not rip the packaging open and proceeded to act as if you were raised by wolves. It was the hardest thing ever, you knew you were done with it as a normal person but the wolf in you wanted to ensure that you licked everything off. So you put it aside and just watched it chilling there, mocking you.You could tell it was yelling at you, “Go ahead, lick me if you are man enough. Nyenyenyee…” and there was nothing you could do about it.
It never got easy until three years later when your mind did not bother to think of the extra five drops inside.This was the same time you stopped believing in the three-second germ rule. You know the rule, you are busy enjoying something and then it breaks away and lands on the floor with a vengeance. You follow it down with the speed of light, grab it, blow on it, and throw it into your mouth.
Yes, we all believed that germs also wait for three seconds before attacking any morsel that drops from your plate. They are there, just chilling, when this piece of mango drops and a siren goes off, warning every germ to stay away from it for three seconds just in case some human really wanted to eat it.
And what made us think you can blow germs away? If that was the case, then the makers of Dettol and Lifebouy would not be spending millions educating children on the need to wash their hands. Just blow into your hand and your breath is like a hurricane off the coast of Florida; just wipes out an entire generation.But the whole growing up bit, the rite of passage and the like, only happened to us when out in public.
We all have some habits that, if exposed to the world, would get us killed. I know some people with such revolting habits they would cause a pig to vomit.
We all have this primitive nature inside all of us that breaks out when we are alone in the house. That three-second rule, forget it, if I was eating it and it fell, guess what, we are all eating it.
Have a drop of yoghurt on your cheek, you will stretch your tongue until you get it and ingest it. We all have foods or snacks that we really enjoy when eating at home because when consumed primitive-style, there is nothing sweeter or better in the world.
Look at how you eat a burger, pizza, ice cream when you are in public and when at home. Be honest, which one is the better setting? Having meat? Look at how you strip a bone down to the marrow you even impress dogs when alone, and look at how you just nimble on it in public. I am telling you, people, we are all alike behind private doors.
You could be watching TV when a piece of your pizza lands on your arm and instead of using your fingers, you, without warning, just find your mouth picking it up from your arm. Do not feel ashamed, we all do it.
There is nothing to be ashamed of (especially you Frank), it is just what it is.

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MARTIN THE FARM BOY

The last piece of bread lies on the broken glass table, the speakers are blaring in full blast and ‘Jaguar is moving one centimeter away as Commando-or rather something like that'. A thin man of about 5.9 with medium built, a long chin, roughed up hair and somewhat bigger than usual eyes passes by. I recognize him to be martin, but I prefer calling him Ndirangu. Ndirangu describes him precisely, martin seems like a cool person, a person who never asks the price of beer at a bar and always sits on the counter. Martin seems like the person who usually has a horde of women drooling over him while they patiently wait for him to take them home. He is whaT some guys I know describe as ‘ule msee’. Ndirangu on the other hand is the opposite; the name befits a farm boy, a town wanabee. Ndirangu is the type of person who wears an official trouser with timberland, or simbaland. I can’t tolerate someone who wears simbaland. But this Martin Ndirangu has these two ghosts inside him. He passes walking along the corridor, slowly looking down as if he has just been informed that his dick has been reduced by two inches. By the way, that’s the worst news that can be given to any man…well they will have to reduce mine by three inches so it can be standard…true story. He trolls in a checked official shirt and a white short… a sore sight to the eye. I quickly lose attention and glance left, my leather jacket is jumbled up on my couch, remote next to me. It seems immobile, and it seems satisfied by where it is, it seems that it might protest when I decide to take it to my luxurious king’s palace bedroom.

SEE ALSO: THE MOST CREATIVE NAIROBIANS

 So I just leave it there not to spoil its mood. I know there are some of you out there…yes I have just said it, the likes of Boris, the party poopers…who are wondering why I do not intend to reduce the blasting volume, well I just do not feel like it. It’s not my thing…yaani its just not ‘happening’ for me…well I also intend to show that I have watts to my next door neighbour, after all I could get lucky and land some you know matchbox when I need one (the missus will read this and for you who know her, you well know that a reckless statement inside here might unleash unimaginable havoc into my life)…Mama wa soko can see the sequel to what happened a few months ago when the Missus decided to take matters into her own hands. Am still in my pajamas- and in pajamas I mean a borrowed tracksuit stolen for one Austin and an oversized shirt that are usually spotted with a person I do not wish to name for my personal safety. I do not even know why am writing…I just decided to try it to cool off my nerves. Stupid but effective... My two fishes are swimming silently but in what seemed to be a calculated move….I usually tend to think that they are planning some coup or something. There are times that they just stare closely at me when am typing and then go behind the plastic undergrowth in the aquarium as if they have just discovered a weak point in me and proceed to stealthily plan for my demise. These two fish are important in my life, they are always there when nobody is there. They are always happy tp see me. This piece of writing cannot be effective if I do not declare my undying love to my missus. Well I know she will be reading this and this statement of love might just act as my protection and defense when am wrong. And believe me am always wrong to her even when am right. Until when am free to write again…look at a guy in an expensive leather jacket, khaki trouser, Italian loafers and press a 1000 note into his hands. see ya

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RESPONSE TO FEMALE BLOGGER

Me and my kind
Rarity, not so far from absurdism. That’s how things work best for my kind. But with the darkness, the most desolate thoughts come out. I write for a living, so are my kind. I would love ‘the inkist’ as a moniker but that is a story for another day. On my usual ‘blog here blog there’, I bump on the article. A little profany and hatred, I would say. I did read it, reeking attention. But then, who does not want to be on a cover? Midway through, I take a sip of my favourite brew, a cognac to be precise. As I get a little jovial, some hatred engulfs me. The bitch with a blog, that’s for lack of a better reference. A quick burglary on her Facebook wall shows an anorexic bitch, the kind you would hesitate to pay for on a Friday nite on Luthuli. On looks, she is neither chocolate nor ‘ayella’-yellow for that matter. Her eyes are sleepy, but not lazy. I mean, she exudes a narcoleptic look. If I were her, I will be keeping pussy hair just to give the men something different- she has nothing to offer. I swear if this bitch freely offers to play six, I would turn down position nine.
SEE ALSO: 7 Problems Experienced By Stoners

Back to my stoner moments, I have fancied better things. I promised to keep it sane but the weed guy laced my sticks today. I read through; she attacked even cars. I felt like taking a piss at that moment. I found myself screaming,’ Yela Habibi’ from the balcony as I held my groin. Bitch please, A Subaru or the Toyota guy has achieved quite a lot given how life is quite a hustle here even with Tullow hitting oil. From her tone, she acts like her pussy is so good that she has to play a goddess! I mean, a walk downtown or to Simmers past 10 in the p.m will give me better, even foreign ‘fundamentals’. Anyway, bitching aside, Njoki the bitch feeds us fodder. That’s too much crap. On a psychoanalytical perspective, I see her in a different way. The bitch is on what I call ‘pussy grunts’. She probably had a thrush and never took a smear to the doc. Eventually, the biota crawls to her brains and eats up the white leaving the grey areas. Given that, it would be unfair to hit out at her; more like Mayweather versus Conjestina. Anyway, as I go back to my sober self, I extend my kindness to all honest and loving Kenyan ladies who hold it down for us through whatever that comes.

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THESE ARE THE MOST CREATIVE NAIROBIANS

After finishing my errands, I decide to hit my favorite café along Haille Sellasie. I like it here coz the fries are served unselfishly and the price is relatively good. The goodness with such joints is that you won’t cough out 5 baab to buy the sauce sachets, chili sauce is free here. And it’s too diluted that it tastes sweeter than tomato sauce. And after the Ebola scare, I started carrying my spoon and folk from home, thanks to my high school habit. After eating my chips,kuku and kebab at Ksh 210, I decide to walk towards my hood stage. Then I amua to withdraw some chumz just in case mvua ipandishe fare. The MPESA chics are all over me “Boss karibu hapa!!” “Hapo hakuna float, kuja kwa yangu” ”Yake iko na delays” they argue. Such kinda flattery can raise one’s ego that you can withdraw all your money, in bits, from all the agents just to prevent a ‘cat-fight’. On realizing that I wanted to withdraw 100 baab and all the chics were hot, I decided to pool out ‘politely’ “Nataka kutoa thao, mtanifanyia na 15 bob??” I asked quite boldly. This left them with a silence of confusion and a topic to discuss later. Farther down the street, I angukiad an MPESA with a guy and withdrawing there was piece of cake. Bro code.

Then I boarded my hood matatu. Then the conda started collecting the fare. I gave him a sohk the rate was 60 baab. “Nakuwahi change nkirudi” he told me as he proceeded to collect from those seated behind me. Then I knew my whole journey was messed. It hit me, yes, that feeling that we all have when the conda remains with our change. I kept looking behind for virtually the whole journey. One would think I was a driver reversing a lorry. Why do we all doubt condas? Yet they are among the best mathematicians that we have in the country? Aren’t they the ones who came up with the “Uko na 20bob nkurudishie 50?”(When you pay Ksh 100 and expect a ksh 30 change). Aren’t they the ones who promote national cohesion “Boss, sina coins…chukua hii mbao utapea huyu madhe kumi mkishuka” After I alight, I go straight to get electricity tokens. I prefer going to Mbogua’s place coz he accepts credit. The last time I was at his place, he operated an MPESA and tokens business. But today he had some extra shelves. “Vipi Mbugz, kuna tokens” I asked. “Leo network iko down, utachukua candle? Kuna torch pia” 

This is how life will filter out the creatives from the chaff!!!

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SPEED ZONE AREAS IN NAIROBI

For most of u who drive within the city of Nairobi kindly note that the Kenya Traffic Police in conjunction with NTSA (National Transport and Safety Authority) have started the implementation of 50km/h rule on most major roads within the city.
Below are some of the major roads that the rule is been implemented as they have stated:

1.Waiyaki way

The 50km/h rule starts from the Kangemi bridge all the way to town and ends at the bridge as you leave the city.

2.Langata Road

The 50km/h rule starts from the KWS Headquarters or the Nairobi National park main gate all the to town and back from town to the same place.

3.NGONG ROAD

The rule starts from the Nakumatt Junction main entrance all the way to town and back to the to the same place.

4.Jogoo Road

The rule starts from the Buru Buru turn-off all the way to town and back to the same place.

5.Mombasa Road

The rule starts from the General Motors junction all the way to town and back to the same place.

6.Limuru Road

The rule starts from the Muthaiga mini market round about all the way to town and back to the same place.

7.Thika Road

The rule starts from the Kenyatta University main gate all the way to town and back to the same Place but it’s not yet clear on this rule on the superhighway because the 100km/h speed limit signboard is still in place that allows cruising on that speed all the way to Pangani.

For those driving outside the city please note that special speed guns have been placed on different areas to catch on those who are driving beyond the speed limit (110km/h) and the traffic police and the NTSA have come up with roadside courts where offenders are been fined on the spot.

Now it's official with the precise roads

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